-Continuation from blog PinkyGuerrero
-Most of the graphics and vids click to sources.
-Personal blog for Janika Banks.
 photo README2.gif


Wednesday, September 19, 2018

baby blob

I'm a big baby today so I got myself some ice cream. I last mentioned ice cream on this blog on June 2nd. That's right, I managed not to cave to ice cream for 109 days.

I brought up a few specifics I'm having trouble with regarding a couple things around my house while I was in physical therapy on my knee (4 weeks out from surgery, doing pretty good but still a long way to go), and UFFDA there we went into strength training on top of the tissue work. My two biggest challenges, between the arthritis in my lower back and this knee being weak and swollen from surgery, are a particular hamstring stretch (easy to solve with a different approach, thank goodess) and rising in a bathroom without special maneuvering on a fixture or a sink counter (because of my hand also still healing from surgery), which turns out to be the top number one challenge everyone in the world has anyway.

Seriously, the number one physical therapy work across the board is rising from a toilet, bar none. Doesn't matter the injury, the procedure, the arthritic condition, the age- we all get stuck on the pot. Suddenly makes sense that the top injuries in one's home, besides stairs, occur in bathrooms.

So now I'm doing extra work adding my other knee in, and of course it's been weak the entire time (my good knee, haha) because in the 7 years I've been in physical therapy, this knee arthroscopy recovery work is the first time we've done anything below lower core strength, basically waistline or hipline. Around 2015 everything shifted from core and balance to saving my arms, and now I'm finally being asked about my feet.

I first mentioned my feet in 2013 on my grandfortuna blog, but that post got pulled into private for a reason and this last year I missed my annual fee because paying off something else, so I can't go grab a quote from that or link it.

*live blogging* Just got a call from a number on Casady Dr. in Republic- Marcus, I can pull up your street on Zillow. Stop calling me.

Ok, where was I? Oh, hey, you wanna see that call / text messaging history from the 'publisher' I tweeted about today? Hang on while I get that.

Ok, there we go. Ridiculous for this day and age.

Anyway, I was talking about my feet. Back in 2013 I had posted pix of a nustep I was using because my feet were so bad I could barely walk, and physical therapy was working on getting me into a regular workout routine. I didn't know back then why my feet hurt so bad, just chalked it up to having blackened both my ankles with various nasty sprains through my life, right. Even broke a bone in my foot once. Turns out it's a combination of spinal stenosis (arthritis that narrows the area the nerve trunk runs through, compressing the nerves that go down to the feet), and real stuff that a podiatrist later discovered. I have too much bone in my feet. He called my heel spurs "spectacular" (thank you, 8 years of retail, hospital housekeeping, and hotel desk), and then added that the reason I get pain when I walk is because a bone is overgrown and compressing a nerve in a toe joint, and that is unrelated to anything in particular. It's been that way all my life. I just thought it was from running and jumping so much as a kid. As I've gotten older, the area has become arthritic, and no wonder it hurts to walk. Eventually that nerve is going to be crushed enough to just die off, and then I won't be able to walk at all. Add diabetes to all that, so faster nerve death if I carb out.

And I just ate ice cream for the first time in 109 days, so I'm not helping that.

Anyway, going back to the original original story, I happen to already have so much pain from preexisting conditions in my feet, my spine, and fibromyalgia in general that to throw a knee surgery on top of that is evidently considered pretty acute for self care therapy, so today I got slung over into leg strength training on top of the surgery recovery.


35 days till my birthday. I texted @bonenado a link to this purse, which I've had my eye on for a long time. I get a new purse about once in five or six years, if that often. I know I got my last purse before Batman and Bunny were both born, so that's over 5 years at the very least, and I'm kind of betting maybe 7. Anyway, what do you think? That clicks out so you can see it better.

The purse I have now came from the same place and has lasted forever, and it's very unique and got lots of compliments. I'm not seeing that style for sale any more, sorry, can't link it. Anyway, I grew up around out there, really love native southwestern fashion.

Don't worry, I've barely eaten about 3/4 cup of ice cream. Got a big salad coming for supper. Really getting tired of this being crippled s#*t. I refuse to go down like a whiny blob.

Tuesday, September 18, 2018

tomorrow is 4 weeks out

Ug. Wrist.

So I got tired of the usual things I was running into and broadened my search on healing after carpal release.
Recovery Milestones for Carpal Tunnel Release Surgery
How to Exercise after Carpal Tunnel Surgery

Like a sports injury kind of approach, right?

It dawned on me I had been turned absolutely loose without anything beyond follow up to remove stitches and a generalized run-through of nerve glides I'd already learned. I wasn't given a time table, what to do over time, wasn't even told how long to ice and elevate. Because of this, I wasn't aware that I could do further injury, and my wrist swelled back up so hard that I was waking up with my hand numb and getting shooting pains up my fingers through the day.

I literally need to be told DO NOT DO THIS LIST FOR THIS LONG. After going over those articles it hit me I had started getting back to 'normal' way too quickly, and even though I did follow the generalized advice, I was already one to three weeks ahead of the healing process on a few things.

Skip healing and go directly to making it worse. *ouch*

So I brought it up with the physical therapist who's been working with me on my knee recovery, and she said it looked good but commanded me to get back on making the time to get my wrist elevated while icing and call my surgeon for therapy on wrist. And then she extended the therapy on my knee for three more visits. So as much as I hate dragging out and having to do this, looks like I'll be in occupational therapy possibly up through Halloween, and in the meantime the rest of my body is going Hey, what about us? Because I was doing nerve impingement last spring and we stopped in the middle of that, and the ongoing maintenance on everything else pretty much just stopped completely.

Wanna say to all the younger people out there who think you're tired and achy and whatever problems with little kids- wait till you're doing all that with the added benefit of being twice as old. It's fun.

Also, carpal tunnel problems are apparently genetic.
Carpal Tunnel? Blame Genes Not Overuse
Study Shows Stronger Link to Genetics Than Excessive Typing or Hand Use


In other fun news, I'm about to block a number from contacting me. I have never been chased so hard in my life.

Saturday, September 15, 2018

24 days out

click for source

Headaches *galore*.

Kaspersky is gone. Yay! Trend Micro took it's place. Happy joy! It has a password manager. Sweet! I can't log into anything now because all the sites are refusing to acknowledge it's authority. *sobbing*

Meanwhile, Best Buy tried to double bill me by including Trend into their Geek Squad black tie service plan renewal after I'd already purchased and downloaded Trend booooo, so now that is all fqd up and I'm srsly considering just letting that one fall off renewing. I'm sure they'll email me a billion times.

Want to be an Enderman? Click to find out how.
Remember all that old talk about lists and whatever? The top of every single list nowadays is "facepalm". I'm trying to figure out if I've triumphed into a new level of 'this is life now' or if I'm just still untangling my brain from all that anesthesia and lidocaine and I'll be honest, sparsing vicoprofen through all this gabapentin feels more like I've morphed into an Enderman, so I really don't know how I'm handling #allthethings but apparently I'm handling more better than I have in many moons of years, so what the heck, I'll take facepalm if it means full throttle thrive. I just hope I don't seriously screw something up and do the regret thing.

click for source
I can't get this song out of my head.

Thursday, September 13, 2018

getting so much experience right now

click for a Shannara write up

Random thought- I see "antimicrobial" as a sell point on things like plastic covered dish drainers, but I never see that word used on toys designed for water (pool, bathtub) play, especially when water can sit inside a toy and mold. Just a thought. Really grosses me out to see kids pretend toys are things to get a drink out of.

My. Hand. HURTS. That is all.

That is not all. I keep remembering all these scenes in TV shows where a character slices the palm of their hand for some reason, to prove they they are human, to make a pact, whatever. Now that I know what a cut that deep feels like and how long it takes to heal and how easily it gets infected, I'm imagining characters down the road with withered hands from nerve damage, missing hands because gangrene, and fumbly klutzy hands for weeks while they heal kind of thing. You don't just slice a hand and then go wield a sword. Or put a saddle on a horse. I can still barely lift my coffee cup.

Doi, here's a whole discussion about it.
Movie and TV characters always slice their palm open when they have to give blood

And another.
The Dramatic Palm-Slice: A Fantasy Trope I've Never Understood

Anyway, I can tell you everything that can go excruciatingly wrong with that palm slice now.

And I'll tell you exactly what I was thinking having a carpal release and knee arthroscopy on the same day, get it all done on only one plop of anesthesia, right. WRONG. Quick surgeries even back to back require extended medications in two different areas and I have had a horrible time coming off all that. It took a few days just for the anesthesia and local numbing agents to wear off, and I got so mean. I was eating people over nothing. The pain med barely covered both areas once that set up regular residence in my body, and then I got so sick and nauseated I had to get off it for a couple days, and then the pain was so brutal I had to get back on it, and I've been clocking out smaller doses so I can balance between the pain med and the actual pain without feeling sick.

I am 22 days out from surgery. I am still in this much pain.

They were not kidding when they said it would take awhile on both wrist and knee. I know I've had some tough issues in my life, but all this getting complicated, even with really fast and smooth healing, has been almost nightmarish to get through. I have a really high pain tolerance, and yowza.

I think the biggest challenge is needing to move around. The rest of my body is so tired of sitting with my leg elevated, my hand is overworked because I'm so bored, my neck is getting spiky pain and yelling at me to get up and go do stuff, and every time I do stuff I swell my knee up again, and this is just a no win situation. There is no comfort, no real rest without scrambling my brain up on meds that screw my baditude, and I cannot wait for this part to be over. Everything I'm reading says 4 to 6 weeks on both knee and wrist for some kind of 'normal' to come back.

I could go into more detail but the enraged dragon in me wants to set my laptop on fire right now, so I'd better just go.

Where's my distraction?!!!!!

Monday, September 10, 2018

the weeping world

Hi, guys.

This is the kind of stuff I can see on my end when proxies aren't used.

This first one knows Pinky blog very, very well.

This second one is a sample of 'random' hitchhiker apps, possible U.S. military on down time, and general social media referrals. You'd be surprised how many Near Eastern areas hit Pinky blog.

I really don't know what to say here.

I also have a number of street view snips that I won't share. Some of them I know are friends and it's no big deal. Others are people who really are trying to stay hidden and still haven't realized I literally get back yards like this, and when I go to street view I can get actual addresses, realtor info, and owner histories. From that I can get voter registration and a few other things. Random things I've caught in past are elite golf resort in France, elite luxury hotel and spa frequented by celebrities, houses in high dollar neighborhoods, and actual parking lots at libraries, schools, churches, specific shopping centers, hospitals, and from named work place networks.

I'm very serious when I keep reminding you guys to learn what using proxies is about. There are plenty of how-to articles and tutorials out there. I'm all for anonymous browsing.

I have considered that some of you want to be seen. At least one played a very extensive months-long game on me for reasons I still can't fathom.

I personally don't care for head games, and I'm busy. If you can't just tell me what you'd like to see on Pinky blog, and I'm apparently being super dense about the interest being demonstrated, I guess we're at stalemates.

Thank you for the visits. I especially want to thank those who DO use proxies and consistently check within seconds of every publish around the world. For every click, there are more unseen email notifications that don't have to click to read, unseen curators that allow reading without clicking, and I don't need to know anyone even saw what I did. That is the game I play, writing in the dark, never knowing who sees what. I throw the pages out a window into the wind.

I don't monetize, but I do see who uses (or tries to use) my content and clicks for their own income. If my words are worth that kind of time, sweet.

I hope you all have excellent days, good health, and love in your lives. Look for the wonderful in this world. We are here to learn, on the weeping world.

dang it, I hate it when I hit publish instead of save

click for pinterest

Getting back to meandering. That is the one consistency in my life. No matter what else is going on, I can meander.

Random memory from last week. I went in the medical supply shop to buy some little mask filters that medicare doesn't pay for, and two other older people were being helped. (It's weird saying that since I really can't tell any more if another woman might be my age or even younger.) One guy was being told he was due for all the things, like tubing, cushions, filters, water chamber, which he didn't understand because older people in the Ozarks are dense (it's true), and an unrelated woman on a different ticket chimed in about how she was still using the same tubing and water chamber from two years ago and never had a problem, and the poor assistant was just standing there in jaw drop.

A) You people thinking Medicare is sucking up your tax money, chill, half the world is refusing to even take advantage of completely 'free' stuff.

B) I felt physically ill at the thought of 2 year old tubing because it can grow mold in it, and I can imagine the assistant was dumbfounded how to explain respiratory hygiene to two stubborn older people who couldn't imagine anything microbial being a problem.

I am still almost freakishly obsessed with CPAP hygiene nearly 2 years in, so since these people are obviously getting along ok, maybe I can relax a little about that. I always make sure my tube is blown dry before I disconnect, though.

click for cpap memes on pinterest

In other randomness, since September has now been declared National Preparedness Month, I boiled some eggs, got brats out to cook up and refreeze, and got butter out to soften for oatmeal cookies to go back into the freezer. If power goes out anytime soon, I'll have food handy besides tuna and chips.

Crap, I missed National Lazy Moms Day.

So I'm 19 days out from surgery, and last night was the worst for pain. It's kind of been building back up, and I haven't been sleeping that well, but last night was pure suck, and I got up 3 different times for more pain med. This morning was better, thank goodness. I know there is a lot of stuff going on in my knee, like it can take up to 6 weeks to get the joint fluid properly built back up, and random swelling can cause pain here and there, but the ache was so strong in the entire leg that even my foot was aching. Could have been the cold front settling in, who knows.

When I jumped this blog over, I started a new tagging system. I don't like it. I should have just tagged whatever I wanted because now I can see it makes no sense. I might go through and retag. Trying to keep it too generalized bogs down the search.

click to buy art prints

More random. If you are kind of interested in what in the world is behind closed doors in 'child breaking', the fastest way to learn is by looking into the mind of the broken. I really like Saccstry. Once you see the emotional survival behind the symbolism, you can never unsee the possibilities of savagery upon the tiny human mind. Minds were made to be broken, remolded, controlled, according to some, and I've read that the best age to start is around 4, although that is up for debate. Child trafficking is the saddest weirdest art prompt you'll ever find on the webs, and if that doesn't scar your soul and get you off the 'faith in humanity restored' rescuing kittens memes, nothing will.

Click this for some actually cool memes
Ug, I just hit publish instead of save. I'm not done yet.

Anyway, that's basically how my life is going at the moment, and all my big cool ideas keep getting sideswiped by pain and medication and dragging my butt into therapy over and over. I'm very tired.

Sunday, September 9, 2018


click for some beautiful pictures
scroll down the page for a list of links to more Ozarks pictures
Despite last night's live tweet falling pretty flat, I had decent enough returns on it to be worth my time, plus I actually enjoyed the movie.

O_O Um...

So y'all know I crawl all over twitter and am very familiar with its structure, because I use its library system constantly to find stuff. Since twitter is real time and most people on there are either half bombed on something or just too busy to notice (or don't care), I find all kinds of patterns in the seeming chaos. I see people knee jerking their lives away. I see puppet masters making y'all dance. I see all your mood swings pretty much go up and down and in and out on cue, over and over and over. I've blogged before how every year, sometimes almost to the day, friends of mine around the world will say almost identical sentences about their depression, which raises tons of questions in someone who has a bachelor of science degree in sociology. So let's think a little bit.

What are psyops?

  • Psychological operations (PSYOP) are planned operations to convey selected information and indicators to audiences to influence their emotions, motives, and objective reasoning, and ultimately the behavior of governments, organizations, groups, and individuals.
  • PSYOP can encourage popular discontent with the opposition's leadership and by combining persuasion with a credible threat, degrade an adversary's ability to conduct or sustain military operations. They can also disrupt, confuse, and protract the adversary's decision-making process, undermining command and control.
  • PSYOP involves the careful creation and dissemination of a product message. There are three types of products that are used to create these messages. They include White products which are used in overt operations and Gray and Black products which are used in covert PSYOP. White, Gray, and Black don't refer to the product's content but rather the methods used to carry out the operation.
  • In order for PSYOP to be successful they must be based in reality. All messages must be consistent and must not contradict each other. Any gap between the product and reality will be quickly noticed. A credible "truth" must be presented which is consistent to all audiences. Primarily it is a component of offensive counterinformation but can be used defensively as well. 
  • White PSYOP is attributable to PSYOP as a source. White is acknowledged as an official statement or act of the U.S. government, or emanates from a source associated closely enough with the U.S. government to reflect an official viewpoint. 
  • The source of the gray PSYOP product is deliberately ambiguous.
  • The activity engaged in appears to emanate from a source (government, party, group, organization, person) usually hostile in nature. The interest of the U.S. government is concealed and the U.S. government would deny responsibility. It is best used in support of strategic plans. Covert PSYOP is not a function of the U.S. military but instead is used in special operations due to their political sensitivity and need for higher level compartmentalization. Further, black PSYOP, to be credible, may need to disclose sensitive material, with the damage caused by information disclosure considered to be outweighed by the impact of successful deception.
  • PSYOP conveys messages via visual, audio, and audiovisual media. Military psychological operations, at the tactical level, are usually delivered by loudspeaker, and face to face communication. For more deliberate campaigns, they may use leaflets, radio or television. Strategic operations may use radio or television broadcasts, various publications, airdropped leaflets, or, as part of a covert operation, with material placed in foreign news media.
Everything that goes viral is a psyop.

  • #plaidshirtguy was an unpaid impromptu individual act but was still designed to get attention.
  • #qanon is a White House supported military operation halting illegal acts against the U.S. Constitution, if what they purport to be doing is true.
  • A whole bunch of stuff in between is about yanking your chain to either awww or froth with hate- Body shaming, racism, puppies and kittens, pictures of elite vacation spots and high class cars, sports, popular movie enculturation, celebrity deaths- it's all there molding your brain every time you scroll a feed.

When you do your research, you find out how connected many of these people are in real life. They are related by family and/or college/business friends/associates (CEOs of social media platforms), they all seem to be working under an unseen umbrella (finding out facebook was established the same day a military operation was closed was enlightening, especially when pointed out they have identical goals), high paid celebrities working with companies and making political and corporate contacts all over the world behind the scenes, 'big' money/pharma/sports/manufacturing/food being run by political interests from outside our own country, and since this is all out there and easy to research, I'll just stop there.

'We' are little people. Most of us barely have enough money to live check to check. Some of us have nest eggs that probably wouldn't last five years if there were some calamity or illness in our lives. Many of us feel helpless, frustrated, and live our entire lives depressed, watching rich people do things on our televisions.

Some of you are not ready to wake up yet. This is where you click back off the page and go back to what you were doing. I don't want to trigger you if you aren't ready yet.

I like watching rich people on social media. I'm lately in and out of the upper crust gangs who say hello and stuff to each other every day, but if you'll notice, they never really talk. Just start moving around in these groups and pretty quickly the question pops up- What is their motivation? All they ever do is say hello and good night and post beautiful pictures of wonderful places (hints that they might even really be there), that they know each other (happy birthday shows up, but very differently from the regular talking groups), and platitudes that hint of covering darkness with brave but very fragile beauty. I really do enjoy their feeds, but sometimes something gets a little too obvious, especially when someone else retweets them in a row into your incoming feed. Is this a covert message?

There are several common triggers in the above pic tweets that people inside a certain circle know. Those three pictures are all about a belief system that isn't *cough* supported in mainstream, so it must be encoded. The first pic is a child/adult relationship demo'd with goats, which is an obvious Baphomet reference. I say obvious because many Baphomet depictions show adoring children gazing up at his face. The second pic is about Moloch, a god who required child sacrifice. When you see owls showing up in some feeds, they are rather obviously not about nature so much as a trigger for something else. The third pic is as NAMBLA as it gets. A 'bear' is euphemism for a man who likes boys or children. In and of themselves, all these pictures are innocent and natural in real life. I love pictures of animals, who doesn't? But as stupid as this sounds, they've come to symbolically represent human ideologies.

Not picking on anyone in particular, but this just happens to be such an easy account to demo. Mio is a real word (and the name of many businesses and companies) but it is followed by 666 (unclear whether that is deliberate), and something I've noticed about many of these accounts- nearly all of them say 'no DMs', many of them add 'no porn' (wonder why they'd need to add that if all they do is tweet beautiful pix), and nearly all of them never respond to anyone else in any way aside from their own following. They are clearly there to touch base with each other and nothing else, no convos at all, no indication of preferences or thoughts of any kind. Once you get used to the interaction, you see they are globally networked and apparently living in the upper crust, since they occasionally hint at where they are actually sitting when they take a beautiful picture at a table with a high dollar beautiful background. It's like a game they play.

I like to look up names and definitions and see what all is out there. This one got interesting.

So MIO, 666, and suggestive natural pictures about adult/child 'relationships' might really be a thing. No wonder accounts like that have to say no DM and no porn.

I'm the kind of person who walks right by this stuff because I'm super ace and it just never occurs to me. Thanks to experiences throughout my adulthood, my eyes have been opened and I'm able to see it all around me now. These things are not coincidences. They are very carefully crafted to look like innocent coincidences, but they get into all our brains. We become so used to seeing this 'innocence' repeated over and over that we essentially become brain trained to automatically associate some things with innocence until we are staunchly defending things we'd normally find extremely offensive. I see this all the time. It's very hard for us to believe, much less imagine, that a person we've come to put on a pedestal could be involved in something heinous and reprehensible, something that would make us feel very sick. It's easier to shunt it to the automated 'innocent' pile and walk past it.

Our lives are not a series of random blunders through depression. These are carefully crafted structured mental walks through very horrible things all around us by very rich people. We are virtually blindfolded in cattle pens with no way out. Our lives suck. Their lives don't.

Until you can open your eyes, you will never understand this depression you live in. You will defend your lifestyle to its depressing end because every day we are rewarded with legal intoxication and lots of entertainment. They keep us sedated while they constantly pull strings to make us angry, awww, sad, laugh at a joke, froth at a sentence, aww again...


You can turn that off. You can make it stop. Turn off your tech for a day, or a week. Walk away. I once walked away for a whole year. I left behind the brain yanking and found MYSELF. And then when I came back I saw all of it through different eyes. They could no longer brain yank me. They could no longer make me depressed and angry. I saw them yanking people all around me like puppets, all of them responding on cue, none of them realizing this was happening. I started walking among them and around them, free of my own chains. I found other free people trying to make the brain yanking stop, trying to wake the puppets up. I found the counter psyop. I found the revolution.

This revolution is very real. It's worldwide. It's strong. It's taking down the rich people who keep puppets in pens with blindfolds making money for them while the puppets live sad lives and die depressed.

The revolution is going to hurt some of the puppets who can't wake up. They won't understand what is happening. They'll be angry and keep defending the puppet masters. They won't know what they are defending if they won't open their eyes.

Please don't defend human trafficking and child sex rituals. Please don't defend the rich abusing the world while they play mind games on us. Please don't defend religions that aren't 'real'. Please pray for the ones who will be killed if they don't do what they are told. Please understand what celebrity suicides really are. Please open your eyes.

We are here with you, all around you. Don't be afraid. Be ready. Get ready. The revolution is upon us.

If (WHEN) the revolution is successful, #relasethepatents will happen and technology will be unhindered, and we will feed the world. There are cancer cures being suppressed, there is free energy that inventors have been murdered over to suppress, people are giving their lives trying to get truth out to the public.

Get ready. #wakeup (You will never see the #wakeup hashtag in the beautiful feeds.)

Friday, September 7, 2018


Ah, here it comes, the after surgery fibro flare. I was wondering when it would really hit. I thought yesterday was just overdoing, but I guess I'm done for a few days. The only thing I would add to those personal descriptions in that link is my entire nervous system feeling raw, exposed, possibly even a little sizzled on a grill or something. If you've ever had Fifth Disease or Hand-Foot-Mouth, the nerve part is like that only all over and worse.

I'm actually in really good shape at 16 days out from knee arthroscopy and carpal release surgeries. As the flare hit, though, actual capability was overcome by intense throbbiness around the still healing areas, and even though that doesn't mean my healing has slowed down at all, it does mean what I could easily do a couple of days ago is being drowned out in overall perception problems my brain is suddenly backlogged in, like pain sludge.

My mood is good and I'm actually sleeping a lot and eating normally, so I'm not worried. Just need to let my brain sort it all out I guess. I've heard that the backlash after all the drugs during surgery can be a nightmare, so I feel blessed that I'm basically sleeping this one off. Sorry so long getting back in touch with some of you I'm working with on stuff.  I'll get there. ❤

Wednesday, September 5, 2018

snapping out of that hypnotic stare at a screen

click for good advice about healthy teeth

This isn't my usual fun stuff. Don't follow me down this path if you don't want to feel sick.

Halloween is a fun time. I love Halloween, it's one of my favorite holidays. I love autumn, I love the fun, I love everyone having a spooky good time.

Part of the fun is watching scary movies. I have nothing against scary movies. I have nothing against enjoying Halloween for the spooky fun of it.

But that's where it stops.

The flip side of the entire Halloween movie industry is that it callouses people to believing the acting and the stories in the films could be 'real'. Or, they become so far removed from anything on film being real that they can't believe real people could actually do anything like the films in their normal lives. The portrayal of the psychopath has become so stereotyped that we believe only psychopaths can behave that way, and that a psychopathic lifestyle is a singular incident that happens due to psychological stresses.

To accept that the things we see on Halloween films can be a real way of life for a large network of people around the world is difficult. The idea of actually hurting and killing each other for sport brings up enough repulsion in most of us that we can't cross the line of taboo and imagine feeling that way ourselves, or even if when we mentally experiment about crossing that line, we know we'd never really do anything like that. It's very difficult for us to believe that scary stuff about death and blood and fear is a real lifestyle that people live out all year. Not psychopaths. Real people like you and me. People who teach their children that it's normal to live like that.

Meeting people who've escaped this is very life transforming. They escape from people who look like us. They sound like us. They seem like us. You can't even imagine them being malicious. They are model citizens, good people with good values and morals. You'd never dream and you just can't imagine. And their kids never get rescued because no one believes them when they say something outrageously offensive about someone doing something. Like burying a baby in the yard before they moved to another state. Like being excited about earning their first 50 cents at the age of 11 from an uncle. Like being chased around a table by a father hellbent on rape, and then being tied down multiple times by a mother doing abortions in a basement. I personally cannot imagine a marriage like that, or doing that to my kids, but I've met people who've been so physically scarred from abuse that they could not have their own children.

I've indicated over several years that I'm familiar with death. I've also talked about walking along the edge of the underground. I've met people. I know things. I've done enough to know what's real and what isn't real. I've been places most people wouldn't believe could be on their own streets without anyone being any the wiser.

I know I am capable of things most people I've met would recoil from. Most people wouldn't be able to put their own pet or even a wild animal out of extreme misery, much less dismember and eat their own pets. Having said that, I'm very much against animal abuse and torture, and believe all pets are slaves. I cannot conscientiously own a pet beyond a few chickens after years of farm life. My kids have a couple of pets in my house and it's very difficult for me navigate around the personal triggers when I feel like the pets are miserable or lonely. Imagine how difficult it is for me to be around children being treated poorly. I feel people love animals more than they do other humans, and thinking about that makes me feel so sad that I can barely manage, so I have to shut that feeling down. The anger and sadness that people carry around constantly is very hard for me to be around, which has led to a very reclusive lifestyle.

So imagine meeting people who've done things to other people that are so awful you would never not have nightmares again just knowing about it. Imagine seeing something in a movie that is so much like something that has happened in real life that it makes you feel too sick to watch it, even though you know it's 'not real'.

If you like scary Halloween movies and want more, there is more. There is a lot out there coming out about real stuff going on around all of us. Death and blood and very horrible fear is a networked worldwide industry. There is a lot of money in providing children for parties and films. Some of those children survived growing up living this way, and now they are finding their voices. The irony is how deaf and blind the world around them is to what they have to say while the fascination is turned toward an industry aimed at fake gore. We all know that stuff is fake, right? It's fun.

Over the last couple of years there has been a virtual explosion of social media hate around truths coming out. The trolls have been relentless, while even CEOs of social media platforms are being called in for hearings over whether their networks protect this underground networked industry. The explosion around politics and conspiracy theories rage on and on, often enraging citizens right off the scent of the truth behind what is really going on behind the fronts on mainstream media.

Why? What is so bad about truth that it can't be allowed out into the open? Unless there are some very familiar names winding up in the investigations...

There are now over 51,000 sealed indictments on the biggest human trafficking investigation in human history in the last 8 months. That's in the U.S. Word is out that the UK is next. This is going worldwide. People are going down. People that many of you believe in and still fight for are being nailed for obstructing truth and even supporting human trafficking. Politicians. Public servants. Celebrities.

You want a really awesome thrill this Halloween? Start paying attention to what is really going on beneath all the hate on the social medias. They are going down kicking and screaming, and they are trying to keep you guys so full of hate for each other that we'll miss seeing what they are going down for.

This is it, guys. Halloween has come to the movie industry. Everything you never wanted to know or believe about people you adore in upper crust is being ripped open.

CAUTION: These videos get graphic and may be upsetting or set off PTSD triggers.


(I'm not picking on Johnny, anyone who knows me knows I have a long history of being a huge fan. Some of the things in this video are pointedly leading, but they have a point in the compiled history and some of the industry involvement. I don't care about the religion or orientation debate. The point is that the actual victims got buried under the celebrity distraction. One has to ask why. I grew up with the whole Satanism in the movie and music industry conspiracy. It was a great way to get a few people really rich and goes way back beyond the Beatles to stuff back in the 50s. I could care less about that. Again, the point is that violently murdered children were dismissed by this industry.)

Worldwide paedophile ring busted in sting operation

Snuff Films - Child Murder #Pizzagate Documentary

Happy Halloween to everyone who made money in the human trafficking industry. Time to nail lids on a few coffins. These are only a few samples, and this has been going on a very long time. You can choose to dismiss this and continue chiming in the knee jerk hate fest on social medias, but like I've mentioned in a few comments here and there, trolling anyone trying to break truth through about human trafficking and especially child sexual abuse trafficking is basically saying they're fine with pedophilia. Something to think about.

Also, hats off to those with inside knowledge who wound up 'suicided'. I don't believe celebrity suicides are what the mainstream media makes them out to be, and the very heavy depression in the industry is the cost for keeping quiet.

If you'd like to wake up more (keeping in mind that all it takes to put you back to sleep is the phrase 'fake news', which basically means you've been brain trained)-

Revealed: The symbols that pedophiles use to signal their sordid sexual preferences on social media

Stop the Pedophiles

Inside suspected pedophile’s lair, a glimpse at a global child rape epidemic

Elite Hollywood Pedophile Ring

An Open Secret

That's probably enough for now. Lot more out there if you are still hooked on being actually shocked.

just once I'd like to see a UFO land in my yard when JWs show up

Random thoughts-
  • When I drag in from a long day out in the heat including physical therapy and physically running into 5 other buildings doing errands, get home and peel off in the AC into some awesome soft loungewear, get all the stuff untangled and put away, get ready to settle in for some real rest, and remember something I stowed something in the glove box that will probably reach a high enough temp to melt if I don't go get it. +_+
  • Last week was worse limping through the hours long deluge with a cane until I came home soaked up to my shoulders even with an umbrella, but the funniest part was just before I could pull out of my driveway to even leave, Jehovah Witness whipped their van in to stop me and frantically tried to do a literature touchbase before they'd let me leave, but not before they asked TWICE whether I'd like them to come back later. Clearly sitting in my car with a cane in the deluge saying I had an appointment to go to. Their dedication is both disturbing and amusing, and I'm pretty sure now that they live up the street from me and that's apparently how they've managed to keep such a sharp eye on my house all these months. The lengths I've gone to avoiding them catching me in my driveway has been movie level intense, and I guess since the last time they caught me was around Mother's Day, that little screech and whip into my drive as they were zooming by and caught sight of me in my car about to leave wasn't deterred by a little deluge. (This has gone on 8 months now, *click here for the fun*.)
That's it. My brain is gone now. Now that I've had a snack and a pain pill I'm going to go lay in bed with my leg up and listen to David talk. I've shared a bunch of bootleg stuff here and there because it's cool fun stuff to think about (and I feel important in many respects), but this one is legal, lol.

Tuesday, September 4, 2018

the track

pix link back to this original site

My best advice to anyone going into carpal release and/or arthroscopic surgeries is to clip your toenails before it all goes down, because that's going to be a regret for awhile if you don't. I'm 13 days out and still cannot simultaneously grasp, squeeze, and hang onto a clipper with my dominant hand, and even if I could, I can barely keep my knee bent enough to reach it long enough to conquer that without spiking some interesting pain.

On the positive note, though, the stitches are out of my hand now and I was able to get into a Walmart for big packs of paper plates and paper towels while I was out, since I forgot about that when bonenado drove us in over the weekend. I went slow but my knee is still a bit throbby, and my hand is definitely feeling the drive today. Was told it'll still be at least a month (or longer) on both hand and knee before I'm really capable of faking some kind of normal again, and to be patient and keep doing my commanded stretching, flexing, and resting. I'm still dropping things, but ahead of the game on most of the other healing. Overdoing will obviously be counterintuitive.

Things this month-

  • Switch out the Kaspersky before the 12th. Yes, still using it... But that's my last day and I need to be on it before auto renew.
  • Prepare for MS Office and Geek Squad protection renewal. This is my big money month.
  • Actually contact (nicely) the publishers back and don't let another 5 years slide by.
  • Check up on the Lexx stuff lightly piling up, but involves work.
  • Start leveling up my commands and responsibilities on the game server.
  • Review my money plan for the rest of the year before the holiday slide goes out of control.
  • Organize the material I already have into a format and fill in the holes.

Today I am airing out my house while the weather is finally nice again. Starting to sound a little like autumn out there. Thinking about trying a fried cheese sticks recipe tonight. Accidentally wound up with mozzarella sticks this summer. Catch up some chores around the house in between rest breaks. Need to keep using paper plates, plasticware, and plastic cups for another week or I won't be able to keep up, but I have started cooking a little again.

As small victories go, I have kept off 2 pounds from the start of last month to the start of this month, so I will continue my daily weight calendar logging and keep working on reigning in the calories. It was really challenging doing this with all the extra sitting around I've had to do, the extra meds and IV fluids, but I'm done with this ridiculous feeling stuck on this plateau thing and aiming to get at least 20 pounds off over the next year just by cutting out that one extra nibbly a day that I'd gotten used to doing since the kids moved in. It's really hard being surrounded by extra yummies that high energy people inhale without a problem, but at least I'm keeping it stable. I won't be able to get back on the regular routine I had a couple of years ago until my knee is ready, so no burning stuff off.

Since this month has been so challenging I splurged on some Halloween lounge pants for $10. This autumn is all about the lounge in my fashion wear. Comfort is key. Oh, almost forgot, my blood pressure is still fabulous after all that. Controlling that pain level is super key.

I've never had writer's block. I have life block. I envy people who have more than one hour a day (if that long) to sit and write without having to stop. Most of my blogging is done in bits and pieces, sentence here, paragraph there, and lots of stuff you don't see me doing in between. Today is the first wonderfully peaceful, quiet, and as close to pain-free as it gets after surgery day that I've had in a long time. I'm organizing my track.

Go watch this movie.

just hit me I've never defined the track I'm trying to get back on

Trying to get back on track with the basics, and boy howdy, just spent 30 minutes deleting at least a hundred emails from the last two weeks just from (power point)

  • 2 publishers- actual did you get my email emails when I didn't respond immediately the first 3 or 4 times
  • go fund me- over 20 yousetupthisthingforyourfriend reminders
  • solar weather- apparently the sun nearly exploded or something and I missed so much stuff
  • microsoft- points deals supplies, did we mention sales?, ohbytheway your acct is coming due in two months and here's more points
  • tee shirt vendors- you bought this thing from us and it's important that you know YOU HAVE 10% COUPONS NOT BEING USED
  • photobucket- we changed everything and you didn't notice and we need to keep reminding you we changed everything and you didn't notice
  • diabetes management- hi, we know you have no idea who we are but we need to bury your inbox with life changing tips
  • google updates- ha, fooled you, we're a phishing scam and you can't get rid of us

That was a sample of H*U*N*D*R*E*D*S of emails burying a couple of really important things just over the last two weeks. It's not even 6 a.m. yet and even with coffee, my brain is mush.

The stitches come out of my hand at 8 a.m. today. I'm going to miss the bright blue fishing line. It's my favorite shade of blue.

I am a tech-mod now on my favorite server. I have many things to learn.

This song popped into my head last night. I'm told I was conceived during a motorcycle vacation through California. I grew up on and around Hondas, and my dad owned a Honda shop. My little brother called them motorpickles. I heard this song a lot.

P.S. Dee Dee once commented on an older blog because I was talking about this Triumph motorcycle ad I still had in my house from when I was a kid.

Saturday, September 1, 2018

connecting dots between Zuni prophecy and the secret space program

pic clicks to the youtube video it came from

Once in awhile I will write something in response to what I see coming in on trackers. Normally I focus on my own stuff, since #pinkyblog is about me, but when I see a very determined visitor hitting a particular tag for an hour or two straight, or someone checking back over and over for awhile, I do respond to those visitors in another post, although not always clearly.

This one is a direct response to a very different visitor showing up after I wrote "long before I ever heard of the law of one"So far there are 14 total visits (according to statcounter) that started on August 18th at 9:55 a.m., I assume my time.

They've been showing up like this on blogger, as 'unknown region', since they are their own nation. Blogger shows more hits because the metrics are a little different, but since Blogger also counts other areas in the world as unknown region, I won't get into that right now.

I was a little puzzled at first. I'm familiar with the Zuni, Hopi, and Navajo reservations around where I grew up in the Four Corners region, which I've brought up before in "Real Things You Might Not Know About Me" on my Surveypalooza blog.

I've been to Chaco, grew up with a cat named Chaco, and have a desert village named Chaco on a minecraft server. I've also been to the Mesa Verde cliff dwellings in Colorado. I had never before seen direct hits from a reservation area on any of my blogs, so that really caught my attention.

So what is important about the Zuni showing up in my stats? I often mention synchronicity, so I don't take things for granted, especially when it gets my attention over and over.

It made sense to connect a few dots and put that into a search engine, so naturally I paired Zuni with David Wilcock (since I'd written that post just before the hits) and Corey Goode ('star people' show up in Native American legends). I immediately got interviews with Clifford Mahooty, the first of which I'll link here.

I'm about halfway through right now. The best part was Clifford saying that the reason the Zuni and Hopi got together last year was to come out with the truth about the Blue Star Kachina misunderstanding, which was a story that happened for tourism (like we have around the Branson area about the Bolin Gang on the train ride at Silver Dollar City), and it's not like that at all. Right away in this video we see that a dance map was really a 'technology' given to the Zuni to remember for a prophecy about our solar system going through a change, which is now in our near future. The steps precisely spell out what happens in which order, and everything around this prophecy is about astronauts that came from other star systems.

Lexx fans know I am fascinated with the Blue Star scene in Super Nova. Some fans know from The Wheel, It Turns that I think the Lexx property was buried by corporate elite who own our media because it doesn't sell the proper mass brain training. No one knew yet until just now that I think Poet Man is the Lexx symbolism for the 'left behind' who can't escape our Earth and have been working on DNA and experimentation to regain control of their own future in a secret space program so that they can escape.

And of course, Corey Goode has worked in the secret space program and now speaks for the Sphere-Being Alliance, and David Wilcock has researched and scientifically documented that our galaxy regularly travels through higher energy areas and that it's about time for another event, this one being called the Ascension Event. All these things are easy to find on youtube and fun to listen to whether you believe in any of it or not. I've been incredibly bored this month taking it easy on a bad knee and now recovering from a combination carpal release and arthroscopy, so I have caught up on hours of these talks, very refreshing because I love scifi, love science, love new thought, love what ifs, love thinking. I have been very entertained throughout August by everything I can find on David and Corey, and it falls right into line with what I'm doing on #pinkyblog to promote positivity.

So there you go, the Zuni have something important to say before the Event that was long ago predicted and prophesied by multiple cultures that would usher our world into a fifth age. There is more about that in another article.

You can see there are more youtube videos, if you are interested. 🙂

I've had the opinion for years that one of the reasons humans are being/have been pushed to develop a way off the planet was so the fallen can escape an inevitable doom. If the Ascension Mysteries are right, everyone stuck here will experience this energy change as our solar system migrates through a particular territory in our long orbit around the center of the galaxy. The fallen, the cast down know this, and they are not in forms that can survive this, like humans. That is my own opinion and not something I got off the internet.

It's fascinating to think about, at any rate.