click for a neat article about flavoring your coffee
My hand is very ouch. Arms and hands always were the most brutal therapy.
So here's what I've got going.
Coffee is down to one cup a day for the last week. Slight withdrawal headache, nothing terrible.
Started slow xanax withdraw per psychiatrist. Even on extremely low dose, my pills are being metered. We both feel the higher gabapentin dose is covering the mood swings ok.
Nearly completely done with opioid from the surgeries. I have really drug it out, been down to a quarter pill every other day for about a week. (That actually still works.) Knee surgeon was surprised I didn't ask for a script refill, and that wasn't even counting my hand.
I seem to have lost 6 pounds and I don't know where I put them. Pretty sure half of it was the coffee. I figured it up. My coffee creamer alone was 480 calories a day before I cut my coffee way down.
Tomorrow is my final knee therapy.
So 6 weeks out from surgeries, hand sucks, actually doing better in some ways but the therapy is wearing it out so much that my grip is tenuous and typing is extra challenging again since starting it. My first day assessing in, my strength score for squeeze pressure was in the teens somewhere, next time in it had doubled, then last time it was 30, so I'm definitely getting that back. It's just once I do something with effort, my hand flops and says ok, taking a break now.
I had a crazy fantastic but weirdly spooky dream last night. Before we fell asleep, I was talking to @bonenado about what it must be like for people having breakthrough memories from the 20 and back work program. We're already getting snippets of disclosure from officials here and there about ETs being real, contact already made, etc, but if we get full disclosure, one of the things we'll be learning is that the 20 and back is definitely real. I mean, it's enough for me that several unconnected people have already come out with this shocking reveal, but it would be nice if it were general knowledge.
So as I was falling asleep I kind of heard a voice that said, Here, let me show you. And then I was someone else. I still felt like me, but I was experiencing someone else, like in so many other dreams I've had all my life. I was a female surgeon, and my job was detailed repairs on top ranking officials, but I never could remember exactly what I had done once it was over. It was like coming to work in the morning, getting ready for the next procedure, doing a really excellent job, cleaning up and debrief, and then once I was off work I couldn't remember what I had done. And I'd go eat supper and relax, sleep, start again the next day. I was able to see a number of days go by like this, and it started bothering me that I couldn't remember what I had been doing each day. I knew what I was trained for, and I knew I had actually done something important, but what?
I feel like I was seeing a more drastic level of mind wipe work, and I could understand the toll it took. I've been through my own memory fails and problems, anxiety and panic attacks, trying to piece timelines together from memories and paper evidence but still not being able to visualize a timeline of events in the order they happened for a period of about ten years. So when I was this other person, I could feel this familiar strain to hang on to a timeline of days, several months of work and no memory each day of what I'd done. Then without warning, a few ragged memories of doing this or that for a brief few seconds would break through, and they made no sense, and I wound up obsessing over what had I actually been doing to the point where I couldn't competently do my work any longer and had to be relieved and fully debriefed of all of it.
There are rumors that quite a large number of people have been taken into these programs and brought back and have no clue, but that when they do have breakout memories or meltdowns, they have to be re-debriefed. Some people have been through the program multiple times, which is quite a lot of experience and memories to have to deal with. Given a worldwide obsession with space in general wanting to know what's going on between NASA 'stalling out', weird stuff in the sky, and science falling flat despite all the supposed new breakthroughs and discoveries, best we can do is grumble and watch space shows on TV. Why are we obsessed with space?
Anyway, I woke up from that feeling like I had been pulled back out. There was no hazy dream state, no thought of 'me', just the first thing I remember thinking was wow, that poor woman...
This happened. It is autumn coconut meringue.
I've had a few other dreams this year that I should have written down. I know I need to go gather them all up now. I've got my dreams scattered here and yon on the webs, and it's time to put them together. They tell a story, like a dream I had when I was very young, where I was shown everything from the camels to how they could open up the sky.
I don't usually look at the download part of my stats, so I missed it a few months ago. I also didn't realize until today that this >>>the last war<<< is the all-time top post on this blog.
I know a lot of people are being careful on the medias, and that's fine. But I 'came out' as a real person, and my flagship is the Lexx, the most powerful weapon of destruction in the two universes, stolen by ordinary people escaping from horrific slavery and genocide. I'm all over anyone who will stop the rape of humanity and our planet. This is our last chance, guys. There's the Q plan, there's the anons ready to launch full out cyber war, and there's us. If there really are ETs, if the SSP is real, if the Cabal doing this is real, if the world pedo trafficking is real... #wakeup! I'm not even Catholic and I can barely watch you guys eating up the entertainment like it's all a big sick joke. Well, Lexx fans know what the Cleansing is...
Getting back to meandering. That is the one consistency in my life. No matter what else is going on, I can meander.
Random memory from last week. I went in the medical supply shop to buy some little mask filters that medicare doesn't pay for, and two other older people were being helped. (It's weird saying that since I really can't tell any more if another woman might be my age or even younger.) One guy was being told he was due for all the things, like tubing, cushions, filters, water chamber, which he didn't understand because older people in the Ozarks are dense (it's true), and an unrelated woman on a different ticket chimed in about how she was still using the same tubing and water chamber from two years ago and never had a problem, and the poor assistant was just standing there in jaw drop.
A) You people thinking Medicare is sucking up your tax money, chill, half the world is refusing to even take advantage of completely 'free' stuff.
B) I felt physically ill at the thought of 2 year old tubing because it can grow mold in it, and I can imagine the assistant was dumbfounded how to explain respiratory hygiene to two stubborn older people who couldn't imagine anything microbial being a problem.
I am still almost freakishly obsessed with CPAP hygiene nearly 2 years in, so since these people are obviously getting along ok, maybe I can relax a little about that. I always make sure my tube is blown dry before I disconnect, though.
click for cpap memes on pinterest
In other randomness, since September has now been declared National Preparedness Month, I boiled some eggs, got brats out to cook up and refreeze, and got butter out to soften for oatmeal cookies to go back into the freezer. If power goes out anytime soon, I'll have food handy besides tuna and chips.
So I'm 19 days out from surgery, and last night was the worst for pain. It's kind of been building back up, and I haven't been sleeping that well, but last night was pure suck, and I got up 3 different times for more pain med. This morning was better, thank goodness. I know there is a lot of stuff going on in my knee, like it can take up to 6 weeks to get the joint fluid properly built back up, and random swelling can cause pain here and there, but the ache was so strong in the entire leg that even my foot was aching. Could have been the cold front settling in, who knows.
When I jumped this blog over, I started a new tagging system. I don't like it. I should have just tagged whatever I wanted because now I can see it makes no sense. I might go through and retag. Trying to keep it too generalized bogs down the search.
click to buy art prints
More random. If you are kind of interested in what in the world is behind closed doors in 'child breaking', the fastest way to learn is by looking into the mind of the broken. I really like Saccstry. Once you see the emotional survival behind the symbolism, you can never unsee the possibilities of savagery upon the tiny human mind. Minds were made to be broken, remolded, controlled, according to some, and I've read that the best age to start is around 4, although that is up for debate. Child trafficking is the saddest weirdest art prompt you'll ever find on the webs, and if that doesn't scar your soul and get you off the 'faith in humanity restored' rescuing kittens memes, nothing will.
Click this for some actually cool memes
Ug, I just hit publish instead of save. I'm not done yet.
Anyway, that's basically how my life is going at the moment, and all my big cool ideas keep getting sideswiped by pain and medication and dragging my butt into therapy over and over. I'm very tired.
click for some beautiful pictures
scroll down the page for a list of links to more Ozarks pictures
Despite last night's live tweet falling pretty flat, I had decent enough returns on it to be worth my time, plus I actually enjoyed the movie.
O_O Um...
So y'all know I crawl all over twitter and am very familiar with its structure, because I use its library system constantly to find stuff. Since twitter is real time and most people on there are either half bombed on something or just too busy to notice (or don't care), I find all kinds of patterns in the seeming chaos. I see people knee jerking their lives away. I see puppet masters making y'all dance. I see all your mood swings pretty much go up and down and in and out on cue, over and over and over. I've blogged before how every year, sometimes almost to the day, friends of mine around the world will say almost identical sentences about their depression, which raises tons of questions in someone who has a bachelor of science degree in sociology. So let's think a little bit.
Psychological operations (PSYOP) are planned operations to convey selected information and indicators to audiences to influence their emotions, motives, and objective reasoning, and ultimately the behavior of governments, organizations, groups, and individuals.
PSYOP can encourage popular discontent with the opposition's leadership and by combining persuasion with a credible threat, degrade an adversary's ability to conduct or sustain military operations. They can also disrupt, confuse, and protract the adversary's decision-making process, undermining command and control.
PSYOP involves the careful creation and dissemination of a product message. There are three types of products that are used to create these messages. They include White products which are used in overt operations and Gray and Black products which are used in covert PSYOP. White, Gray, and Black don't refer to the product's content but rather the methods used to carry out the operation.
In order for PSYOP to be successful they must be based in reality. All messages must be consistent and must not contradict each other. Any gap between the product and reality will be quickly noticed. A credible "truth" must be presented which is consistent to all audiences. Primarily it is a component of offensive counterinformation but can be used defensively as well.
White PSYOP is attributable to PSYOP as a source. White is acknowledged as an official statement or act of the U.S. government, or emanates from a source associated closely enough with the U.S. government to reflect an official viewpoint.
The source of the gray PSYOP product is deliberately ambiguous.
The activity engaged in appears to emanate from a source (government, party, group, organization, person) usually hostile in nature. The interest of the U.S. government is concealed and the U.S. government would deny responsibility. It is best used in support of strategic plans. Covert PSYOP is not a function of the U.S. military but instead is used in special operations due to their political sensitivity and need for higher level compartmentalization. Further, black PSYOP, to be credible, may need to disclose sensitive material, with the damage caused by information disclosure considered to be outweighed by the impact of successful deception.
PSYOP conveys messages via visual, audio, and audiovisual media. Military psychological operations, at the tactical level, are usually delivered by loudspeaker, and face to face communication. For more deliberate campaigns, they may use leaflets, radio or television. Strategic operations may use radio or television broadcasts, various publications, airdropped leaflets, or, as part of a covert operation, with material placed in foreign news media.
Everything that goes viral is a psyop.
#plaidshirtguy was an unpaid impromptu individual act but was still designed to get attention.
#qanon is a White House supported military operation halting illegal acts against the U.S. Constitution, if what they purport to be doing is true.
A whole bunch of stuff in between is about yanking your chain to either awww or froth with hate- Body shaming, racism, puppies and kittens, pictures of elite vacation spots and high class cars, sports, popular movie enculturation, celebrity deaths- it's all there molding your brain every time you scroll a feed.
When you do your research, you find out how connected many of these people are in real life. They are related by family and/or college/business friends/associates (CEOs of social media platforms), they all seem to be working under an unseen umbrella (finding out facebook was established the same day a military operation was closed was enlightening, especially when pointed out they have identical goals), high paid celebrities working with companies and making political and corporate contacts all over the world behind the scenes, 'big' money/pharma/sports/manufacturing/food being run by political interests from outside our own country, and since this is all out there and easy to research, I'll just stop there.
'We' are little people. Most of us barely have enough money to live check to check. Some of us have nest eggs that probably wouldn't last five years if there were some calamity or illness in our lives. Many of us feel helpless, frustrated, and live our entire lives depressed, watching rich people do things on our televisions.
Some of you are not ready to wake up yet. This is where you click back off the page and go back to what you were doing. I don't want to trigger you if you aren't ready yet.
I like watching rich people on social media. I'm lately in and out of the upper crust gangs who say hello and stuff to each other every day, but if you'll notice, they never really talk. Just start moving around in these groups and pretty quickly the question pops up- What is their motivation? All they ever do is say hello and good night and post beautiful pictures of wonderful places (hints that they might even really be there), that they know each other (happy birthday shows up, but very differently from the regular talking groups), and platitudes that hint of covering darkness with brave but very fragile beauty. I really do enjoy their feeds, but sometimes something gets a little too obvious, especially when someone else retweets them in a row into your incoming feed. Is this a covert message?
There are several common triggers in the above pic tweets that people inside a certain circle know. Those three pictures are all about a belief system that isn't *cough* supported in mainstream, so it must be encoded. The first pic is a child/adult relationship demo'd with goats, which is an obvious Baphomet reference. I say obvious because many Baphomet depictions show adoring children gazing up at his face. The second pic is about Moloch, a god who required child sacrifice. When you see owls showing up in some feeds, they are rather obviously not about nature so much as a trigger for something else. The third pic is as NAMBLA as it gets. A 'bear' is euphemism for a man who likes boys or children. In and of themselves, all these pictures are innocent and natural in real life. I love pictures of animals, who doesn't? But as stupid as this sounds, they've come to symbolically represent human ideologies.
Not picking on anyone in particular, but this just happens to be such an easy account to demo. Mio is a real word (and the name of many businesses and companies) but it is followed by 666 (unclear whether that is deliberate), and something I've noticed about many of these accounts- nearly all of them say 'no DMs', many of them add 'no porn' (wonder why they'd need to add that if all they do is tweet beautiful pix), and nearly all of them never respond to anyone else in any way aside from their own following. They are clearly there to touch base with each other and nothing else, no convos at all, no indication of preferences or thoughts of any kind. Once you get used to the interaction, you see they are globally networked and apparently living in the upper crust, since they occasionally hint at where they are actually sitting when they take a beautiful picture at a table with a high dollar beautiful background. It's like a game they play.
I like to look up names and definitions and see what all is out there. This one got interesting.
So MIO, 666, and suggestive natural pictures about adult/child 'relationships' might really be a thing. No wonder accounts like that have to say no DM and no porn.
I'm the kind of person who walks right by this stuff because I'm super ace and it just never occurs to me. Thanks to experiences throughout my adulthood, my eyes have been opened and I'm able to see it all around me now. These things are not coincidences. They are very carefully crafted to look like innocent coincidences, but they get into all our brains. We become so used to seeing this 'innocence' repeated over and over that we essentially become brain trained to automatically associate some things with innocence until we are staunchly defending things we'd normally find extremely offensive. I see this all the time. It's very hard for us to believe, much less imagine, that a person we've come to put on a pedestal could be involved in something heinous and reprehensible, something that would make us feel very sick. It's easier to shunt it to the automated 'innocent' pile and walk past it.
Our lives are not a series of random blunders through depression. These are carefully crafted structured mental walks through very horrible things all around us by very rich people. We are virtually blindfolded in cattle pens with no way out. Our lives suck. Their lives don't.
Until you can open your eyes, you will never understand this depression you live in. You will defend your lifestyle to its depressing end because every day we are rewarded with legal intoxication and lots of entertainment. They keep us sedated while they constantly pull strings to make us angry, awww, sad, laugh at a joke, froth at a sentence, aww again...
BACK TO PSYOPS.
You can turn that off. You can make it stop. Turn off your tech for a day, or a week. Walk away. I once walked away for a whole year. I left behind the brain yanking and found MYSELF. And then when I came back I saw all of it through different eyes. They could no longer brain yank me. They could no longer make me depressed and angry. I saw them yanking people all around me like puppets, all of them responding on cue, none of them realizing this was happening. I started walking among them and around them, free of my own chains. I found other free people trying to make the brain yanking stop, trying to wake the puppets up. I found the counter psyop. I found the revolution.
This revolution is very real. It's worldwide. It's strong. It's taking down the rich people who keep puppets in pens with blindfolds making money for them while the puppets live sad lives and die depressed.
The revolution is going to hurt some of the puppets who can't wake up. They won't understand what is happening. They'll be angry and keep defending the puppet masters. They won't know what they are defending if they won't open their eyes.
Please don't defend human trafficking and child sex rituals. Please don't defend the rich abusing the world while they play mind games on us. Please don't defend religions that aren't 'real'. Please pray for the ones who will be killed if they don't do what they are told. Please understand what celebrity suicides really are. Please open your eyes.
We are here with you, all around you. Don't be afraid. Be ready. Get ready. The revolution is upon us.
If (WHEN) the revolution is successful, #relasethepatents will happen and technology will be unhindered, and we will feed the world. There are cancer cures being suppressed, there is free energy that inventors have been murdered over to suppress, people are giving their lives trying to get truth out to the public.
Get ready. #wakeup(You will never see the #wakeup hashtag in the beautiful feeds.)
