subacute recovery

What the internet randomly says I can expect after carpal tunnel release surgery-

• It is sensible to wait until your wound has healed to prevent your stitches from loosening and your wound opening. This usually takes 10-14 days. Most people are able to begin gentle driving approximately two weeks after their carpal tunnel surgery. I have a full driving schedule for physical therapy on my knee all this coming week and I live 20 miles out of town. My carpal surgeon was aware of this. What the heck is 'gentle driving'?
• Most patients experience a full recovery from numbness in a day or two following surgery. Nerve damage takes longer to resolve. 6 months to one year after surgery is typically when recovery is considered complete and nerve damage has improved as much as is expected. Someone keeps telling me that a coworker was fine in 4 days flat, soz... Kinda not believing that one.
• Paresthesias and scar tenderness are common in the subacute recovery phase following carpal tunnel release. A flare or aggravation of symptoms is common in the period of two to six weeks after surgery. Well, it hurts like hell 3rd day out, so yeah, kind of expecting that, but pretty sure my family will be expecting me to carry full work load the split second the stitches come out.
• Driving (a couple of days after surgery) Yeah, the other hand, I imagine, because this random answer came out of the blue.
• Writing (after a week, but expect 4-6 weeks before it feels easier.) I can barely pick up and maneuver a pen for one word atm, but srsly, 4-6 weeks??
• Pulling, gripping, and pinching (6-8 weeks out, but only lightly.) Totally believe this, barely even tugging on a sock felt like pain shocks from a cattle prod. I was very strongly commanded not to do ANY pulling or lifting until the stitches come out 2 weeks out from surgery. Guess they've seen a few rip open.
• Expect 10-12 weeks before your full strength returns, or up to a year in more severe cases. Define 'full strength'. Wow, nearly 3 months? Just how bad off were you?
• After surgery, you will be discharged home in a wrist splint and a bulky dressing. The dressing may be removed 3 to 4 days after surgery, but you should continue wearing the splint provided for approximately 6 weeks. K, where in the world are they getting this splint stuff, I never got a splint.
• Carpal tunnel syndrome cannot be cured, but surgery to alleviate symptoms can be successful. The success rate of surgery to relieve symptoms depends on the definition of “success” and the metrics applied. For example, with respect to alleviation of symptoms, up to 90% success is reported. Was cautioned that I'm in the category for only 50% recovery because I've had nerve damage for so long. I keep hearing about the coworker that was apparently fine in 4 days. Must be nice. Tomorrow is my fourth day and I can still barely move a mouse.

Carpal Tunnel Release: What to Expect at Home
This one made more sense.

K, enough of that. If this all works out well, I might do left knee and left wrist on the same day down the road if I'm having unresolvable problems in future. It's been really convenient getting it done all at once on the right side, and left will probably be less difficult since it's not my dominant side.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Next day.

Remember the old days when people would tell me what my public feed was allowed to have in it? Like beliefs and perceived intelligence level and so forth. I've plateaued again with a whole new even bigger mix of people and one subset is consistently baffled, so I've either got to leave that subset out of future shares or find a way to incorporate them without the culture shock of other people in the world being allowed to think differently. That's a lot of work.

Meanwhile, a player on game is determined to bend the laws of gamer physics around sheer will and I am patiently standing around while they figure something out and don't realize they left the game ages ago...

If I seem a little testy, I'm still in acute injury level of inflicted healing with med intolerance challenges and I am underwhelmed with the laughable cooperation understanding we barely have in my house. Too many agendas, too little personal space. I'm also coming to loathe rabbits in the house.

I'm clearly in a bad mood and there's not much I can currently do about it, so see ya.

baby blob

I'm a big baby today so I got myself some ice cream. I last mentioned ice cream on this blog on June 2nd. That's right, I managed not to cave to ice cream for 109 days.

I brought up a few specifics I'm having trouble with regarding a couple things around my house while I was in physical therapy on my knee (4 weeks out from surgery, doing pretty good but still a long way to go), and UFFDA there we went into strength training on top of the tissue work. My two biggest challenges, between the arthritis in my lower back and this knee being weak and swollen from surgery, are a particular hamstring stretch (easy to solve with a different approach, thank goodess) and rising in a bathroom without special maneuvering on a fixture or a sink counter (because of my hand also still healing from surgery), which turns out to be the top number one challenge everyone in the world has anyway.

Seriously, the number one physical therapy work across the board is rising from a toilet, bar none. Doesn't matter the injury, the procedure, the arthritic condition, the age- we all get stuck on the pot. Suddenly makes sense that the top injuries in one's home, besides stairs, occur in bathrooms.

So now I'm doing extra work adding my other knee in, and of course it's been weak the entire time (my good knee, haha) because in the 7 years I've been in physical therapy, this knee arthroscopy recovery work is the first time we've done anything below lower core strength, basically waistline or hipline. Around 2015 everything shifted from core and balance to saving my arms, and now I'm finally being asked about my feet.

I first mentioned my feet in 2013 on my grandfortuna blog, but that post got pulled into private for a reason and this last year I missed my annual fee because paying off something else, so I can't go grab a quote from that or link it.

*live blogging* Just got a call from a number on Casady Dr. in Republic- Marcus, I can pull up your street on Zillow. Stop calling me.

Ok, where was I? Oh, hey, you wanna see that call / text messaging history from the 'publisher' I tweeted about today? Hang on while I get that.

Ok, there we go. Ridiculous for this day and age.

Anyway, I was talking about my feet. Back in 2013 I had posted pix of a nustep I was using because my feet were so bad I could barely walk, and physical therapy was working on getting me into a regular workout routine. I didn't know back then why my feet hurt so bad, just chalked it up to having blackened both my ankles with various nasty sprains through my life, right. Even broke a bone in my foot once. Turns out it's a combination of spinal stenosis (arthritis that narrows the area the nerve trunk runs through, compressing the nerves that go down to the feet), and real stuff that a podiatrist later discovered. I have too much bone in my feet. He called my heel spurs "spectacular" (thank you, 8 years of retail, hospital housekeeping, and hotel desk), and then added that the reason I get pain when I walk is because a bone is overgrown and compressing a nerve in a toe joint, and that is unrelated to anything in particular. It's been that way all my life. I just thought it was from running and jumping so much as a kid. As I've gotten older, the area has become arthritic, and no wonder it hurts to walk. Eventually that nerve is going to be crushed enough to just die off, and then I won't be able to walk at all. Add diabetes to all that, so faster nerve death if I carb out.

And I just ate ice cream for the first time in 109 days, so I'm not helping that.

Anyway, going back to the original original story, I happen to already have so much pain from preexisting conditions in my feet, my spine, and fibromyalgia in general that to throw a knee surgery on top of that is evidently considered pretty acute for self care therapy, so today I got slung over into leg strength training on top of the surgery recovery.

~~~~later~~~~

35 days till my birthday. I texted @bonenado a link to this purse, which I've had my eye on for a long time. I get a new purse about once in five or six years, if that often. I know I got my last purse before Batman and Bunny were both born, so that's over 5 years at the very least, and I'm kind of betting maybe 7. Anyway, what do you think? That clicks out so you can see it better.

The purse I have now came from the same place and has lasted forever, and it's very unique and got lots of compliments. I'm not seeing that style for sale any more, sorry, can't link it. Anyway, I grew up around out there, really love native southwestern fashion.

Don't worry, I've barely eaten about 3/4 cup of ice cream. Got a big salad coming for supper. Really getting tired of this being crippled s#*t. I refuse to go down like a whiny blob.

wascally wabbit

One of my life challenges is being a germ phobe. So when a rabbit plunged underneath my kitchen table and knocked over an electric popcorn popper I was storing underneath against the wall and then sat on the nonwashable nonstick cooking surface, I automatically nixed that popcorn popper from future use. That's how I am.

I didn't use to be that stringent. Many years of chronic illness later, I am keenly aware that germs can wreak havoc in our bodies. I grew up on a farm, and although I was strong and very capable of long work days (the horror, lol), I am not a strong adult. Pathogens and injuries are cumulative, and every day I face hard work just getting out of bed and keeping a routine going.

My depression went into the extremes this last year, but I kept doggedly at least keeping up with a schedule, forcing myself to keep cleaning up after others over and over, day in and day out. We have a verbal agreement that as long as they are out making money and living emotionally healthy lives, I will do the laundry and the dishes, and I throw in cleaning the bathrooms once in awhile. I've already made it through one surgery during this extra challenge, basically still doing all these chores myself when I should have probably been in bed, and in about a month I face a double surgery that will knock me off a chore schedule for at least a week or two. Right hand, right knee. You can imagine the fail I feel looking around my house. I could post pictures, but since a 'friend' showed up out of the blue and put my house all over the internet some years ago, and then a visiting group from China walked through my house another year unannounced, taking pictures over every room including the pile of dirty dishes on my counter during one of my chronic months when everything fell apart, I don't feel inclined to add to that kind of stuff.

In short, no one cleans up after me. They gag just cleaning up after themselves, so they don't. I find dishes all over the house, dirty socks have sat on my kitchen counter next to open food, stuff in the fridge I never bought will sit and rot until I throw it out, and on really bad days my house smells like something died.

I spent the first two days of this 'vacation' airing out my house, scrubbing the trash can, deep cleaning bathrooms and floors, literally disinfecting a rabbit cage that stunk to high heaven, on top of executing a new plan.

This is obviously no longer 'my house'. I am allowed to live here, yes, but all three stories are saturated with other people's things. A lot of my stress is about shared space. I'm a phobe, it's hard for me to share space. I need a place to withdraw, which is difficult. A person might not believe she did this, but three different times in the week before departure, I was walked in on in my own bedroom without so much as a knock, and the talking started the second the door was open. No knock, no hello mind if I come in and tell you something, no good morning or how's it going. Just full on walking in without warning. She's 30. It's my house, my bedroom. My mind is blown every time that happens. I don't own one square foot of sanctity or solitude in my own home. And I'm very forgiving of it because I know, given the personalities of the people I married into, this is much better than fussing.

But I need a boundary. I spent this week 'pulling back'. I cleaned out the last of my stuff in the livingroom and pulled in into my bedroom. Everything that is not mine or Scott's is going to be pushed out of my bedroom before my double surgery date. By the time I'm home recovering from surgery, I will have a clean peaceful bedroom to rest in.

I'm done with the rabbit. I like rabbits, I grew up with rabbits, but nothing is being done to satiate this rabbit's craving to chew, and it's only a matter of time before our expensive electronics become useless. No attention has been given to putting a little time and effort into protecting electrical cords to appliances that will cost thousands to replace. No pet toys for chewing show up. This rabbit has spent weeks throwing itself against the cage door upstairs. It absolutely hates living here. I had the rabbit brought down to the kitchen to care for while everyone was gone, and aside from being shut into a bathroom for a few hours to hop around every day, which it hates, throwing itself against and chewing the door, it has been in its cage, and I daresay, this is the longest its cage has been this clean since it moved into this house. This is not a happy rabbit. It feels the same way I feel, trapped and helpless to do anything about it.

I got a lot done though. Stripping out drawers and being able to lay everything out on my livingroom floor for a week without anyone walking on or moving any of it has been delightful. The longer my stuff sat all around me being organized, the lower my stress went until I was so relaxed that I actually felt good. I was doing all kinds of work with very little pain stopping me.

They come home today, any time now. I woke up 2 hours ago with a headache, and every joing in my body hurts. Interesting.

I love my people. I think they are fine the way they are, and this is just how it is. I don't think I fit in with them. I have made myself fit with with lots of concessions over many years. That has taken a big toll on me. I am different and they don't understand, just like they don't really see how the rabbit feels. They don't know what to do for me, so they walk off, just like they walk off from the rabbit. I don't feel an affinity for the rabbit because it's just more work, in my opinion. Whatever 'love' that is supposed to be going on with a pet is being entirely lost on this rabbit. It's just a piece of furniture, a fluffy doll to babysit the kid, something to learn about life on.

Unlike the rabbit, I don't feel like I'm something to learn about life on. I am a useful servant. In my own home.

I needed to get this out before my people walk in the door. It helps just to get the words out of the way. I hate judgmentalism because I grew up with it, and I'm finding out it takes a lot to keep positivity in focus. I hate being a cranky gripey person, and not feeling well makes it harder to be sweet. I want them to be happy to come home. I want to be happy to see them. I did miss them, but I sure didn't miss the extra work.

Time to let this go. Maybe I can sneak that popcorn popper out to the trash before they pull in.

p.s. I've been bringing in handfuls of fresh clover from the yard for the rabbit, also has things to chew on this week, plus a little fresh lettuce. It's been a bit calmer, but until it's free of this cage, I'm afraid it will always be sulky, and I don't blame it one bit.

curious about the sales pitches

Stuff.

Bout fried my phone on this next one hiding the glow under the covers and falling asleep. The upload is viral. I wrote a tweet and a FB status about it earlier, and I pinned it. Is it coincidence it came out the day after the anniversary being talked about in the above video?

My hand hurts like hell, but my typing is already getting better. Also, my throat really hurts to swallow and I finally looked in there and found a small area that looks weird, wondering if I got a small sore or scratch when I swallowed the little airway hose under anesthesia.

Why Does My Throat Hurt After Surgery?

So I got back up out of bed after sleeping an hour and a half and I'm eating Italian nachos so I can get vicoprofen down. For my hand, not my throat. The hand thing is an ongoing problem from the last Pinky blog, if you're new.

Proof that FB is uber intrustive. The other day I bounced on a post from a publisher and next thing you know they are calling my cell phone. I don't put my cell phone out for view, even for friends, and I didn't friend that publisher page. I checked my settings, and sure enough, my phone number was viewable by friends, so I had to reset that to only me. Check your privacy settings, guys. They had another big update rollout, so just check everything. Also, really creepy that a nonfriend was able to hack that and then leave a recording on my phone. Once is bad enough, but still another publisher calling and leaving a message out of the blue within that time frame, and both of these repeat calling really ticked me off. Real publishers don't solicit by phone. Don't worry, I didn't pick up.

So the blocking begins. Again. I wanted to report for harrassment, but FB doesn't allow me to describe what happened, so how would they even know it's going on outside of FB?

Bunny got a cast change on the same day in the same building at the same time as my carpal tunnel surgery. I thought that was cool. 😎

My knee still doesn't hurt. I had to rewrap the compression bandage, definitely swollen and apparently a bit bloody under all that cotton wrap, but I keep it up a lot and use a cane 90% of the time so I'm doing ok. I have felt it squish in there a couple of times, kinda slide a couple more, and click a few times, no pain at all with any of it, even though the pictures the surgeon gave me look pretty impressive.

The best part is the vicoprofen. I hadn't had hydrocodone in any form since 2014 until my gall bladder removal last fall, and that was overwhelming because I'm like a permanent protracted withdrawal person, clenched muscles and mild hallucinations when I have to take it nowadays because I was on low dose vicodin for nearly 30 years. Today has been lovely, though. I asked for a lower dose since I tolerate pain so well, and I'm feeling wrapped in beautiful fuzzy blanket kind of love. Going to suck stopping it again, so I'm already alternating breaking pills in half. So far I'm needing every 4 hours on the dot for the hand pain, but dang it, I keep forgetting and automatically doing stuff. Every little grasp and tug is horrible and barely functioning, or like using that hand for leverage getting into bed earlier, yowza that sucked.

I spent pre surgery eating plenty of vegetables, alternating salads with cabbage soup, pan roasted brussels sprouts, microwaved sweet potato, crockpot corn on the cob, and I'm focusing on more proteins and yogurt while I'm healing. They gave me precautionary ancef (cephalasporin antibiotic) in my IV during sugery. Also got decadron (corticosteroid, precautionary for inflammation, allergic reactions, and edema), fentanyl (narcotic), lactated ringers (aggressive fluid replacement during fluid and blood loss), lidocaine (numbing agent), midazolam (benzo that induces drowsiness and acts like a roofie so you don't remember), zophran (for nausea, I'm a documented puker during and after surgeries), phenylephrine (antihistamine, also raises blood pressure), and propofol (" a short-acting medication that results in a decreased level of consciousness and lack of memory for events").

And that was on top of a serious lack of coffee and calories, so the first 48 hours are my body cleaning all that out on top of serious healing from intrusion. I'm cautiously already following slow withdrawal guidelines on the vicoprofen. Part of the jolt for a lot of people recovering from surgery is not understanding the meds going on.

From Legend of the Seeker:

Sorry no click to merch, I think it was a short-lived flash sale.
The back has the wizards rules.

Wo, stood up to do something and I'm so wasted I barely made it across the room. Funny how sensitive I am now to small dose anything after decades of handfuls of meds that I spent over 2 years cleaning off of. I felt like I had a little tiny bug crawling in my shirt nipping me, usually a protracted benzo symptom for me, but turned out to be petechaie. Every time I have something done I get new ones. I have a petechia for every spinal tap I've had, stuff like that. Some of them never go away.

I had some super cool dreams this afternoon dozing off and on. Going to try some stuff on Mo Creatures (minecraft server) when I can log back on. I'm generally not a very creative builder, even though I have huge claims with builds on them. The stuff in my dreams was like TIME TO REMODEL. I'm very excited but really can't do that till I start the therapies.

I've gotta get back to bed while the pain level is back down. See ya.

holiday brain in 3, 2...

~started yesterday~

Finally. Got assessed into hand therapy today. Came home with a light splint, a  squeezy gel egg, and a couple of instructions. My right hand is officially only half as strong as my left hand right now. Today was the first time anyone said it's ok to use heat for the pain, which was bliss. I'm five weeks out from the surgery and everyone else is still saying use ice. Now that I'm back home in slight shock at the amount of pain increase over such a tiny amount of focused therapy baselines, I'm running into a spike in wrist pain, and now I'm seeing there is a wrist tendonitis dynamic with carpal tunnel and a whole page about the art of icing... 😕

~this is today~

My resolve to cut coffee down is happening, just in time for National Coffee Day, lol. I'm down to one cup a day now, and *bing* suddenly much more awake. Not a clue if that means I'm finally past the surgery exhaustion or it's really my system breaking a little more free from chemicals, since I'm also finally off the daily opioids now. Or it could be the cold front that moved in and is messing with me, who knows. Whatever is going on, I dropped another pound, so huzzah.

all my pix click out 🎃

Today is my last follow up with knee surgeon, possibly, unless there is a 3-month or something down the road. I have 3 more physical therapy appointments for knee and a sparkly new grueling occupational hand schedule that goes up through November 1st, which is also my last follow up with the hand surgeon. Somewhere in the middle of October I have primary care checkup and likely a flu shot. All the driving so far has flared impinged shoulder nerve on 'good' side, which lately is spiking up my neck into headaches (driving is bad, mkay), because it's been hurting to drive with my surgery hand, so you can imagine I will be thrilled when all this driving into town slows down in November.


Got my bank and calendar super synced this week. I'm already missing sending a couple of birthday cards (not cool when your dad makes it to 89!), so it's crucial I get all my ducks in a row before my brain collapses into an alt dimensional state of mush during the holiday slide. I usually have all my stuff lined out as far ahead of Thanksgiving as possible because by the time that gets here, I'm just done the rest of the year while Christmas blurs by and I stumble back out of my daze later in the winter.

Stuff I need to work on (super facepalm fail this month, I'm soooo sorry, guys) are getting back with Mike and Myke and Emily on stuffs we're working on, wrapping my brain around plugins so my tech-moderator tag is more than just a pretty badge, and writing. I have so many things I want / need to write / get written. There is always too much going on, and when there's not, there's depression, so swimming in syrup is just a lifestyle. That reminds me, I also had a great talk with psychiatrist about my super low dose xanax being a psychological crutch, and goal over the next six months is get it shaved down to half of what I'm taking now (very laughable in the medical world, not funny at all in the addict world), and from there get ready to leap off again. The gabapentin is my fallback for that safety net feeling, thank goodness it's good on anxiety along with the nerve pain.

click to get lost in pinterest

I know I get too blabby repeating some of this stuff, but sometimes I look back a few years at how hard it used to be just rounding up my brain to type a few sentences out, and I can see how easy this has become, and that it really has helped me stay on track and not slide into the decay of weight gain, self incrimination, hiding, justifying, and more depression. Eat your salads, kids.

raw

Ah, here it comes, the after surgery fibro flare. I was wondering when it would really hit. I thought yesterday was just overdoing, but I guess I'm done for a few days. The only thing I would add to those personal descriptions in that link is my entire nervous system feeling raw, exposed, possibly even a little sizzled on a grill or something. If you've ever had Fifth Disease or Hand-Foot-Mouth, the nerve part is like that only all over and worse.

I'm actually in really good shape at 16 days out from knee arthroscopy and carpal release surgeries. As the flare hit, though, actual capability was overcome by intense throbbiness around the still healing areas, and even though that doesn't mean my healing has slowed down at all, it does mean what I could easily do a couple of days ago is being drowned out in overall perception problems my brain is suddenly backlogged in, like pain sludge.

My mood is good and I'm actually sleeping a lot and eating normally, so I'm not worried. Just need to let my brain sort it all out I guess. I've heard that the backlash after all the drugs during surgery can be a nightmare, so I feel blessed that I'm basically sleeping this one off. Sorry so long getting back in touch with some of you I'm working with on stuff.  I'll get there. ❤

the Pinklist begins

~started last week and I forgot about it~

I was wondering how long it would be before a hijacker hopped on. I'd like to gratz my first to show up, the ever popular pizza imperia that actually clicks out to parkabovedotcom with a 20-line script just in the address that probably gets my dental records while it's at it.

The ultimate list of referrer spam

I recognize at least 20 on that list that made me crazy on my last blog. Interesting note, I didn't get ANY of that on this new blog until I listed it with my google properties. Made over 40 posts without any hitchhikers, and then I blew it. *shakes fist at google*

*sigh*

Also, Peru has joined my merry mashup of miscreants. It's the richest country in the world, and also the top cocaine producer. They have all kinds of cool stuff there, like mummies and the Inca, mystical doorways to other worlds across the cosmos, Nazca lines, Cusco, and ancient elongated skulls that some purport to be alien-human hybrids. Also, besides their politics being scary, I think they have bunkers in the mountains for the uber wealthy around the world in case an asteroid hits or they decide to nuke everyone per the Georgia Guidestones. Hi, Peru. *waves*

For newbies, this goes back to The Pinklist, and more fun with GWT hijacking on my old blog.

~now it's today~

Hello, person who opened every single thing openable on here in 10 minutes flat and I can see your house because failure to mask. Thanks for the multiple shares, pretend I served you some complimentary nachos, and kudos for the crazy widget trails that looked like you were copying every piece of code on my page. If this was bait, you're not the first. If this was a hack, sorry if you didn't get much. If this was pure innocence, not a clue what that blitz was. It's really rare I see a visitor trail blazing through like the one you left today. *standing up, slow clap* Brava.

Andy Baio: Think You Can Hide, Anonymous Blogger? Two Words: Google Analytics

Actually, statcounter caught that, I didn't even waste my time looking for you in analytics.

Ok, on to real life. Crazy weekend, some of you following caught the kiddo broken arm surgery overnight in hospital thing. We're on the second night, comes home tomorrow. Thanx to everyone across my medias and gaming who expressed concerns and good cheer, and now I'm in faceplant spoonie mode while bonenado takes care of a few things this evening. I'm back on duty tomorrow for trip home from hospital, and may not be available for much else.

3 1/2 weeks until my double surgery, so the race is on against a cosmos aiming for the big target painted on my life, will I complete my mission to win back my bedroom before the big recovery week? Bets are on, and if I manage to successfully duck and dodge in slo-mo it'll be pure accident. I'm definitely in dumb wut? mode right now. I'm this close to Arthur Dent tripping and majestically flying level. (Definitely worth the click and read if you don't know wth I'm talking about.)

This just came in on notifications (likely a fan reupload to keep it available), so go bump up your brain and awareness levels. David Wilcock 2018 * With Zero Point Energy and Advanced Propulsion Technology! Original channel is at Divine Cosmos and possibly content shadowed by Discover the Secret. The main thing is pure information not available in mainstream education. It's nice finding people who spend lifetimes on research on information that is very difficult to get openly. Freedom of information and freedom of speech are an illusion, and I appreciate people putting their lives on the line to keep sharing.

we love you anyway

meme clicks to source where I made it
original source is from Sports Injury Clinic (full of good advice)
discovered thru 837 pins about carpal tunnel on pinterest

Yeah, that flex up there is exactly what I was NOT supposed to do so soon after surgery, and why it's been swelled back up real hard ever since. I assess into occupational therapy on Wednesday specifically for that. My surgeon was very glad I called up to discuss it.

So this was me on the game server today, dealing behind the scenes while I dealt with a problematic duo.

click pic for a good write up about writer problems

I took half an opioid left over from my knee surgery just to be able to log back into internet. I cannot do anything but type with this hand. I'm back to square one.

Cool videos I've been watching to help pass the time while I ice my hand.

This next took me nearly an hour to watch because pausing to read all the things, but perfectly answers all the same things I was feeling about season 4. Essentially, I don't think Sherlock ever got off the plane.

I'm still working on this one because it's so long, but I keep coming back to it to continue because it's so cool.

I really do like this anon vid. Spot on.

I'm not on any particular side (the anons don't take sides, we are all humanity and should all be given the same considerations, dignities, and opportunities), but I do quite enjoy watching and listening to Julian Assange. This popped up in my suggestions so I watched it. He's a very pretty man.

Because I watch such a wide variety of things on youtube, I get all kinds of suggestions, and I filter through thousands just to watch a handful. I very quickly stop and move on if the first minute doesn't hold me. There are some really good things to see, and I'm so thankful I live in a time where I can see so much with so little effort and cost while I am stuck not being able to use my hand very well.

#transparency I was once stood up by a guy who couldn't tell me he was an alcoholic. He had already come out as gay years before to me in a very bad area to be gay, but he chose to get shitface wasted and get picked up by another guy and then couldn't face calling me up to cancel, which I'd have been ok with. What he didn't know was that I am an alcoholic, too, and I'm pretty sure I've been much worse places than he's ever dreamed. You know what? Let it go. Just be you, guys. Own your guilt, your pain, your fails, and be human with the rest of us. We love you anyway.

tomorrow is 4 weeks out

Ug. Wrist.

So I got tired of the usual things I was running into and broadened my search on healing after carpal release.
Recovery Milestones for Carpal Tunnel Release Surgery
How to Exercise after Carpal Tunnel Surgery

Like a sports injury kind of approach, right?

It dawned on me I had been turned absolutely loose without anything beyond follow up to remove stitches and a generalized run-through of nerve glides I'd already learned. I wasn't given a time table, what to do over time, wasn't even told how long to ice and elevate. Because of this, I wasn't aware that I could do further injury, and my wrist swelled back up so hard that I was waking up with my hand numb and getting shooting pains up my fingers through the day.

I literally need to be told DO NOT DO THIS LIST FOR THIS LONG. After going over those articles it hit me I had started getting back to 'normal' way too quickly, and even though I did follow the generalized advice, I was already one to three weeks ahead of the healing process on a few things.

Skip healing and go directly to making it worse. *ouch*

So I brought it up with the physical therapist who's been working with me on my knee recovery, and she said it looked good but commanded me to get back on making the time to get my wrist elevated while icing and call my surgeon for therapy on wrist. And then she extended the therapy on my knee for three more visits. So as much as I hate dragging out and having to do this, looks like I'll be in occupational therapy possibly up through Halloween, and in the meantime the rest of my body is going Hey, what about us? Because I was doing nerve impingement last spring and we stopped in the middle of that, and the ongoing maintenance on everything else pretty much just stopped completely.

Wanna say to all the younger people out there who think you're tired and achy and whatever problems with little kids- wait till you're doing all that with the added benefit of being twice as old. It's fun.

Also, carpal tunnel problems are apparently genetic.
Carpal Tunnel? Blame Genes Not Overuse
Study Shows Stronger Link to Genetics Than Excessive Typing or Hand Use

Whee.

In other fun news, I'm about to block a number from contacting me. I have never been chased so hard in my life.

super pinky

Nearly 4 years later, I suddenly notice I can put more on my mobile. I fixed up both Pinky blogs a bit, probably be adding more soon. Much more shows up beneath posts now.

Had one of those sudden diversion weeks, no laptop for several days, and now I feel outrageously behind in everything. Which is weird because I'm suddenly getting so much done again.

STOP DROP AND ROLL FOR MAJOR DIVERSION INTO STUFFS

Ok, I'm back. Power point on stuffs-

• More LittleLexx.net discussion about nameserver updates and which domain registry to use.
• Currently behind posting last weekend's #latenightmovie chat and there's one tonight, so that's piling up, lol.
• Started a super cool moc wither fight storyboard post, need to pick up where I left off and get that out.
• Game server party pix post from the end of May needs to get done.
• Not even going to list real life stuff.

The hospital stuff from the other day is best sifted down to powering through poor pain management 4 days ago till I set off an outrageous breakout blood pressure that had me almost too delirious to call 9-1-1. It happened in the shower, and I can tell you from experience that the 5 minutes you might spend trying to decide whether to get on the phone for rescue or put underwear on first can be really fuzzy, I can barely remember it. BP was 228/121 on their arrival, and the nitro helped only about 20 minutes before it broke over 200 again. Got a 12-lead, showed a blip so they gave me a shot to dilate my veins, got worse, another 12-lead and the fastest CT I've ever been rushed through, another 12-lead, and bam, up to the 4th floor. From there it was overnight fasting for stress test imaging, and THAT stuff is also supposed to dilate veins and bring blood pressure right down. Mine was only down to 187/102 after all that previous stuff, and when it held steady as a rock out of spite, the entire room went silent. They almost never see that happen. After that was additional meds and another overnight monitor, and finally down enough to go home.

So I'm on double my regular BP med plus another BP med that is double what I used to add during breakout episodes in the past, and with nothing else warranting action presenting during testing and monitoring, I was given the all-clear. If they'd seen anything, I would've been sent to surgery immediately. During my stay I had two shots in my stomach, I think for precautionary blood thinner, several IV pushes and cups of pills, some of it precautionary. I can't even imagine what might've happened if I hadn't made the call. I had no idea my blood pressure was so high, didn't even feel that. All I felt was the initial pain stab and then utter delirium. I could have wound up with a major stroke or even a heart attack just from runaway blood pressure over a nasty pain spike. The veins around my heart were in danger of becoming inflamed or developing clots from the pressure. I've had a number of breakouts that have been ER monitored, but I'd always been sent home after 4-6 hours. Not this time.

Goal now is solid pain management, so the gabapentin doses are going back up. I missed a physical therapy appointment during all that, and since I've been getting extreme deep tissue shred and massage on shoulder and all around shoulder blade, that nerve center was definitely on full blast. All it took was one move to spike some really nasty pain and set all that crazy blood pressure off, and naturally I should be on muscle relaxers and nsaids and possibly even a steroid, but my poor body is so med maxed out I just can't keep that up any more. I'll need to finish out my therapy appointments light, and no more power shopping the groceries and hauling all that in myself during the summer heat. I'm also relieved of after school kid duty for the summer, so I need to get back on taking daily naps, or at least taking an hour off to lay down. I'm going to push my carpal tunnel surgery further out, there is no way they'll use anesthesia until I can control this on my own for a few weeks.

The rest is up to me. I'm tightening up an already pretty focused diet because I've gotten slack. I had made the most beautiful homemade coffee ice cream. Got home and threw it out. Ice cream isn't worth that kind of suffering and cost. Back to the diabetic diet combined with cardio diet, 30 minutes of exercise every day, and monitored caloric intake.

To all those memes going around facebook that say chillax and live your life because we all die in the end- yeah, you can choose to coast out really miserable at the end. If I had lived that belief I'd already be dead several times at an early age, and coming back from early immobility sucked bad enough. That's a bunch of crap and a lie. They want you to die lining their pockets with the tiny little bit of money you've barely got. There are CEOs making 6 figure salaries talking about food dyes and sugar and how to make profits and get their raises while people in poverty eat and drink themselves into a hellish misery. Do they care that their products do that? No. I haven't had a real autoimmune flare up in at least 3-4 years now, longest I've ever gone, and this blood pressure thing could have easily kicked off into an autoimmune response sparking pericarditis. That would have sucked so bad.

I think what bothers me most is my sleeves feeling tighter...

Super Pinky can't happen on a 12-lead.

parallel Pinky

I spent months thinking about what to do with this web presence I'm junking up into something I never intended to do, and I've decided the extraneous Pinky stuff needs to become part of the fossilized stagnation of the random webs. It's funny that so much time, actual work, even money went into Pinky things, and Janika is still what wound up worth more both as presence and property.

This week has sucked all to hell next door, and I'm doing my best to help support the one person in this house who is able to be the most support for them while working nearly 60 hours a week, and I'm afraid I've overworked an arthritic joint doing it, so now I'm resting in my bed watching The Day the Earth Stood Still. I've meant to watch it for years. I guess this is what it takes. I've always liked Jennifer Connelly, one of the rare few I attempt to follow through film projects.

Anyway, per the About This Blog page, I'm not going to keep much of an eye on how this blog incarnation ranks. I migrated Pinky here because I need to blog, and this is how people can see what's going on with me without having to call or write anywhere. The last blog will have a few more scheduled posts, and then the dotcom will expire in September. This blog going forward is just me being one of many Pinkys on the webs. This blog doesn't need to be part of a platform.

Incidentally, while I understand the need for the extra checkpoints, the latest update junk is very annoying.

🙄

Btw, if you are coming in on mobile, you may not be seeing #allthestuff. After years of steady post reading, I found out someone was never seeing the tags on mobile. Tags at the bottoms of posts are crucial for tying together trains of thought, and this month on the last blog I auto scheduled a series of posts all tagged with one word. Like, you click on that word, you get all those posts lined up without the other in between junk in the way. Much of the lengthier visits followed tag trails. I also have a search bar in the side column, good way to find anywhere in the blog that I've mentioned something in particular. I can tell that came in really handy for readers wanting to find more autism related posts.

Let's see, other junk. Physical therapy was extended, moving arms much better, maybe this fall I can start working on legs. I tried going back down on my gabapentin (neurontin) dose now that shoulder nerve is freed up and healing, but the rest of my body is yelling harder, so I might be jacking that back up. It's touch and go now with pain management, and I can no longer tell if the gabapentin is why I feel kind of numb or if it's blinky nerve stuff. Oh well. If a nerve in a leg wants to feel like it has soggy wet cotton wrapped around it instead of zinging zaps around making me jump like I just got stung, I can't complain if I can keep moving around on it.

My brain has been pudding most of this week. Oh yeah, another biggie. I've already gone through a sort of imminent phone death months ago with this phone, dumped a bunch of apps and had to start plugging into laptop just to charge it. Finally reached the point where it now only charges in the car, of if it's turned off will charge on laptop, but that's all. Fine tuned another major purge, cut everything  in settings to the bone, and now I'm hoping I can just get it through the summer.

My radishes and cantaloupe plants are coming along, nearly got a batch of chicks but stuff came up last minute and veered us onto a new track. Not sure now if I'll try again in June because carpal tunnel surgery coming up in July, not going to push that much work in the heat with a big wound and possibly other difficulties. 😬

Anything else? I know, I still haven't done Batman pix. I need to find another pic first. 😁 Another time, perhaps.

next level

Well, at least I've kept my time orientation up until the 4th of July straight this year... One of those fun factoids about me a few might have missed along the way, lol.

So the 'tick fever' is technically 'over' now, meaning the antibiotic has killed the germs, but I'm still living with the leftovers of rapid internal destruction, meaning my knee is still swollen and muscles all around it still a bit stiff, and I'm still in and out of chills and low grade fevers. I was told the severe fatigue could last all summer, so no guilt for lotsa naps. We checked for autoimmune kick on the off chance, and I'm super thrilled my SED is only 15. I'm nearly 4 years along now without a real autoimmune flare. I used to live with SEDs around 70 for months, eventually came down around the 40s, then finally the mid 20s, but it was always steady. Seeing a 15 in the middle of acute systemic attack is fabulous. That alone cuts back on extra 'complications'.

Since my knee swelled so hard and walking was impossible for a few days and the doctor sent me off for xrays and MRI and then to ortho, what's showing up out of that is ancient damage from an old injury (likely part of the being ejected from the flipping car thing over 35 years ago since it's near a nearly ripped in half muscle in my thigh from that era), and apparently I've been living with a 2/3 of a centimeter chip of thigh bone floating around the perimeter of knee cartilage and occasionally getting caught in awkward places that makes walking impossible and causes nasty pain when I try. I always thought my knee was going out of track and locking up, and I'd just wait it out and then I could use it again just fine, but nope, everything else is healthy and it's the fragment saying howdy. The doctor who can do the scope to get that out frequently couples up with the surgeon who is doing my carpal surgery, so I may get both those done on the same day at the end of August.

Synchronicities galore going on around that tick.

The fun part was ortho asking how in the world I lived with that this long (this is considered a high pain injury), which is testament to the amount of pain I was capable of enduring by the end of my teens.

I mentioned pins in dolls in my last post, well, people who wish ill on me really have no idea. The tick could have been well-timed karma leading to more healing, it could have been part of a fate wished upon me, possibly both bound up in a weird synchronicity, whatever. Accidents just don't happen around me. Everything and everyone around me is affected with weird synchronicity, and when I share something a little on the spooky side with someone is usually when they stop talking to me. My own family gets it, and we all just kind of accept it. Everything can be so chaotic around us and just keeps falling into place, all the bad keeps happening and we keep finding all the good. I've noticed that people who touch my life either heal with me or flee and hide. No one can hide from that, you know. Life is real and you will learn your stuff whether our paths cross again or not.

Moving on.

My to-do list is so far behind it's insane, but during all this challenge, Myke snuck in and did the impossible, which I've mentioned in a couple of places, and I have felt so grateful and re-inspired because of all that work he did that I've decided to really go all the way with commitment and take Lexxperience to the next level.

Myke and I have been developing a casual partnership for several years as I have been providing content and traffic pointing to SyfyDesigns,

and this year pretty much established family with several friends we share between movie gang and Snarkalecs (I'm talking about how we all got Holly that dryer in 24 hours flat). It's time to cut to the chase, as they say. I've worked hard on platform and presence, and I feel it's a good time to make my home with SyfyDesigns. Myke has always been there for me. This is how and when Myke and I met.

5 1/2 years is a long time, and I'm looking forward to what we can do in another 5 1/2, barring any more synchronous misadventures in my life, lol.

In keeping with our original watch parties, let us celebrate.

not to 1055

click for more dog memes

One of those medical assessment posts for my glitchy memory.

Established with cardiology yesterday. I had a cardiologist a couple years before and after my radio ablation for SVT back in 2000, but insurance changes flipped me to another network, and I'm just now establishing again after the May hospitalization for uncontrollable blood pressure breakout. I am fabulous right now, so I don't have to go back until next year, but at least now I have direct call waiting and email to specialist if I need one. I think my primary is relieved.

Ramping slowly back up to 300mg 3x a day on the gabapentin per neurologist, again. This is the third time I'm trying. First time (winter 2017) went up too fast and turned into lethargic zombie. Second time (May 2018) coincided with amlodipine and got significant leg swelling, plus the amlodipine wrecked my diabetes. This time it's slow and the only med being changed. So far I'm sleeping better and getting up easier, no weight gain or fluid retention that I can tell. Being commanded to watch blood pressure after stopping amlodipine, have been able to solidly correlate pain level to blood pressure since I also ramped down the gabapentin and now ramping back up. It's one thing to say pain causes high blood pressure, it's another to actually see it on paper. Clearly I need to stay on pain management, now that I'm below the 140/90 target again. I'm still on toprol, of course, but my pain levels easily override control when I try to tough things out and power through, like I was brought up to do through my childhood. Looking back, I can see that powering through probably set me back through much of my adult life, as I gritted my teeth and held on through college and jobs and trying to be a good parent for kids in school. The band president year was pretty rough. I loved it, though, and I don't regret it. Stuff like that. But yeah, I fought hard to stay as normal as possible in between month or year long stretches of complete disability and severe immobility.

Also, the stenosis in my neck is bad enough now that even slightly turning my head either direction sends shooting pains down shoulders (so fun in traffic!), and if there is really less wiggle room in there, maybe it's time to move past chiropractor. It was a lifesaver over the last decade as I was going through core strength in physical therapy, but all that is stabilized now and I rarely need adjustments any more. I knew this would be part of Plan C, moving on to the meds.

Can Neck Manipulation Relieve Spinal Stenosis?

I'll still need ASTYM maintenance or I'll freeze up solid, but you can't ASTYM a nerve trunk, lol. The thought made me giggle. There's a special kind of humor in pain lifestyle.

There is also irony, like slamming through a week long tweetfest one week before carpal tunnel surgery. 😂 I have really been enjoying #SharknadoWeek on Syfy, but barely able to hang onto anything because of it, like flipping a spoonful of yogurt on my good blouse, casually tossing my phone into a wet sink, I won't even bring up keys. Too late. But yeah, it's crucial to always close the toilet around a person like me in the house. Anything could go anywhere at any time if my hands even pretend to touch something. You'd laugh if you could see how klutzy I am trying to moderate on a game server. Just trying to type a short command under pressure is hilarious when the player has one of those long names spelled weird with caps and dashes and extra x's sprinkled around.

Let's see, what else. Allergies are so bad right now that I've tripled my zyrtec and benadryl, ears feel like I'm underwater or flying 20K feet, throat is on fire and sore to swallow. I'm mostly fine inside my house. We have 3 hepas now and I'm so stringent on laundry coming in that most of it stops at the door, but even just driving into town in a climate controlled car with air filters has me swimming in snot. I was chunking more antihistamines in traffic yesterday only 15 minutes from my house. Between all the mowing and the rains and wind now in a high humidity region, I am breathing particulate soup everywhere I go.

Is this boring? I feel boring. No one ever talks about the conspiracy scenes in Sherlock. Oh, yeah, the fan theories, but you know, like the background scenes and stuff... Here, lemme distract you from that before you actually think or something.

The Cases Are Fake: A Theory That Totally Changes Sherlock

Except that all falls apart in season four, when we find out it wasn't Mycroft...

Ok, I'll give you a nibble. Like the clock scene when Moriarty is giving the raspberry in the air sending a text off to Mycroft. The time is 10:55. Check this out, from What are police codes? What is the meaning of the police code 1055?

10–55 means “dead person” or “coroners case.” This would be the ten code used on a police radio when an officer arrives on the scene and finds something dead. Although the code is meant to describe dead people it is often used to describe other dead things like a dead car battery, a dead radio, or dead animal.

Yeah, I know that's a stretch because that's a U.S. code, but still fun to think about. I could make a whole list, though. I still say the filming was brilliant, whether it was purposeful or not.

And because I free associate right off the page, I wound up here

The Kiss of Judice: The Constitution Betrayed - A Coroner's Inquest and Report, Vol.1

Great, now I need another video so I can escape.

the track

pix link back to this original site

My best advice to anyone going into carpal release and/or arthroscopic surgeries is to clip your toenails before it all goes down, because that's going to be a regret for awhile if you don't. I'm 13 days out and still cannot simultaneously grasp, squeeze, and hang onto a clipper with my dominant hand, and even if I could, I can barely keep my knee bent enough to reach it long enough to conquer that without spiking some interesting pain.

On the positive note, though, the stitches are out of my hand now and I was able to get into a Walmart for big packs of paper plates and paper towels while I was out, since I forgot about that when bonenado drove us in over the weekend. I went slow but my knee is still a bit throbby, and my hand is definitely feeling the drive today. Was told it'll still be at least a month (or longer) on both hand and knee before I'm really capable of faking some kind of normal again, and to be patient and keep doing my commanded stretching, flexing, and resting. I'm still dropping things, but ahead of the game on most of the other healing. Overdoing will obviously be counterintuitive.

Things this month-

• Switch out the Kaspersky before the 12th. Yes, still using it... But that's my last day and I need to be on it before auto renew.
• Prepare for MS Office and Geek Squad protection renewal. This is my big money month.
• Actually contact (nicely) the publishers back and don't let another 5 years slide by.
• Check up on the Lexx stuff lightly piling up, but involves work.
• Start leveling up my commands and responsibilities on the game server.
• Review my money plan for the rest of the year before the holiday slide goes out of control.
• Organize the material I already have into a format and fill in the holes.

Today I am airing out my house while the weather is finally nice again. Starting to sound a little like autumn out there. Thinking about trying a fried cheese sticks recipe tonight. Accidentally wound up with mozzarella sticks this summer. Catch up some chores around the house in between rest breaks. Need to keep using paper plates, plasticware, and plastic cups for another week or I won't be able to keep up, but I have started cooking a little again.

As small victories go, I have kept off 2 pounds from the start of last month to the start of this month, so I will continue my daily weight calendar logging and keep working on reigning in the calories. It was really challenging doing this with all the extra sitting around I've had to do, the extra meds and IV fluids, but I'm done with this ridiculous feeling stuck on this plateau thing and aiming to get at least 20 pounds off over the next year just by cutting out that one extra nibbly a day that I'd gotten used to doing since the kids moved in. It's really hard being surrounded by extra yummies that high energy people inhale without a problem, but at least I'm keeping it stable. I won't be able to get back on the regular routine I had a couple of years ago until my knee is ready, so no burning stuff off.

Since this month has been so challenging I splurged on some Halloween lounge pants for $10. This autumn is all about the lounge in my fashion wear. Comfort is key. Oh, almost forgot, my blood pressure is still fabulous after all that. Controlling that pain level is super key.

I've never had writer's block. I have life block. I envy people who have more than one hour a day (if that long) to sit and write without having to stop. Most of my blogging is done in bits and pieces, sentence here, paragraph there, and lots of stuff you don't see me doing in between. Today is the first wonderfully peaceful, quiet, and as close to pain-free as it gets after surgery day that I've had in a long time. I'm organizing my track.

Go watch this movie.

I think I just need a better chair

click for a cute blog post about writing

I was told during a soliciting phone call today that the referrer did research on me and put me on a list. I'm easy to do research on, but I wanted to know how they got my phone number... Still blaming FB for that slip up.

I couldn't actually read that one without exploding my brain right now.

So this publisher is originally licensed in Wyoming, offices are in Delaware, packaging assembly something to do with being located in London, and the call center is in the Phillipines. By the time the pitch was over, the caller literally complained that the call took 30 minutes. Well, I was the one who called back after a voice mail was left, so...

clicks to cute memes

I just wanted to see why publishers are suddenly soliciting me over the phone again. Yes, it's a huge market looking for international content, and I totally qualify. It's just that I was told by the company that I already contracted with that they never solicit.

more memes...

She also kept mentioning how soft my voice was. I finally told her I'm recovering from airway during surgery only yesterday. Did that stop the pitch at all? Nope.

one day..

So I'm in demand. She didn't have a clue what I actually DO, but she assured me I'm very marketable.

down time

click for South Korean memes

My biggest mistake is opening the fridge door with the surgery hand. +_+

click to get lost in pinterest

I tried a little singleplayer last night, it hurt. Not back on game yet.

click for surgeon skin in minecraft

Caught up on The 100 yesterday, 3 left for Killjoys, probably watch that today.

click for a Canadian TV blog

Got my Halloween wallpapers on a slideshow screensaver. This was on Google chrome search for 'Halloween bats wallpaper'. I tried several variations and got a few really good ones.

Decided to custom order Christmas cards this year because cheaper than the store. I think I'm done looking around for pix right now.

Presurg stressing

Doing this on my phone because I put the laptop into storage till bandage comes off my wrist. Arrival time for double surgery tomorrow is 6 a.m., so I'm getting up at 4 to get that last hibiclens shower.

No coffee. +_+ Scott's life will be in danger. I'll be sweet all medicated up afterward.

I'm also already hungry just thinking that I can't eat in the morning. I rarely eat very early. It's the idea of it throwing my brain-to-stomach relay a curve ball.

I can't wait to see what it feels like to live without a half inch bone chip sliding around stabbing inside my knee in there. All these years. Oof. Wish I'd said something sooner.

K, I've fought with blogger on phone long enough, need YouTube so bad.