flip this earth

Accounts I have deleted, closed, or deactivated so far:

• Alignable
• LoseIt
• Quora
• PaperLi
• Ask.fm
• myspace

I tried to close Scrazzle, but it's still in beta and apparently they don't have any way set up to deactivate or delete accounts. I'm in limbo there.

I was going to close my Gab account before the censorship rug got yanked out, but missed that opportunity by minutes.

I was going to close part of my twitter accounts because I never play on them. I can't make myself do it yet.

Tumblr and livejournal can sit there, and all my wordpress accounts can, too.

My G+ heads up posts have gone out, and I'll be pulling all my G+ down probably by the holidays in December.

Since Lexxperience is moving to SyfyDesigns and we've got the LittleLexx 'billbored' back up, I may pull Lexx out of facebook sometime this winter. I'm very tired of facebook and have suffered real life security breaches with them several times because of their mistakes, and I may close those accounts after G+ is taken down. I'll have to plan a strategy on that one. I've been piggybacking off free hosting on social medias, maybe it's time to make a real website on a dedicated server with full tech support. I may start transferring material soon, but I'll be juggling other obligations.

Photobucket is a conundrum, hosting thousands of pics across multiple sites. They have doubled my yearly fee twice as they have grown. The content is too massive to move and reconnect all the link breakage that will cause, so I'm kind of stuck with it.

I registered a few hashtags back in 2014 and I can get them verified now, so I'm looking into that. It would be good for my personal branding. I can prove timestamp origination.

This guy keeps retweeting this tweet and it's driving me crazy. Not. a. clue. He's against the world banking system and the memes he retweets are both graphic and necessary for disclosure, but my original tweet tagged a movie director, so I imagine his notifications are looking a little funny, too. The pic of Scott Walker butt naked on a nazi flag was eye opening... Not sure how my aliens meme fits into all that unless it's a hint that the cabal is controlled from off planet, shot in the dark. I really have no clue. Or maybe he retweets and then unretweets just to get my attention so I'll retweet stuff off his timeline, but that's a jolly romp I think he should take full credit for. Heads up on the pic of the kid with his head half blown off at Gaza. Honestly, I think it's high time Americans saw the truth of what life is like when the uber wealthy stage wars over stupidity and so many lives are screwed, so I totally support that picture. If you feel the need to hate, hate on the billionaires who have the money to fund that level of crap, because most of us would have no clue how to even make a missile, much less want to live our lives doing things like that for sport. So here you go, James, Pinky just linked your timeline and you are very welcome to keep showing the world what the hell really goes on out there while we watch our TVs and booze ourselves to sleep so we won't think about how our whole lives are spent in debt slavery.

Ok, where was I. Live blogging at it's finest.

I haven't done this in months. Let's do this. While Pinky really hasn't been thinking about platform and publishing and has been a bit negligent of focusing on a personal work plan, twitter has exploded for me. I don't know if some of you think this way, but Pinky is front lines with the anons now. Pinky is part of the Q army. At first it was a bit intimidating, since most of my feeds on any media are vitriol and spew over the current administration, and I usually just don't touch that stuff with a stick. BUT. More stuff has gotten done and is still happening in the last year than has ever happened in any presidency. While people are distracted with the squabbling (I can't help picturing mainstream media platforms holding marionette strings for Punch and Judy), we've been under a state of national emergency since last Christmas, and most of America has no clue how close we came to an actual military coup. If Trump hadn't gotten into office, we'd have already disintegrated into it. The military was actually ready, they had a real plan they'd worked on for decades, and come hell or high water, they were going to step in and defend the constitution to the bitter end. We very narrowly avoided that. Y'all have Q and Trump to thank for keeping the peace so we could keep watching TV.

I've written in the past that I am a compulsive reader, and some of you know how many rabbit holes I've gone down linking things I would find here and there on the internet. Pinterest is my kryptonite, so I steer clear, but Pinky blogs have linked many official and original sites bursting with information. My blogs are read around the world by people doing specific searches, and I've had reader blitzes that dropped my jaw a few times. I'm not monetized, I barely have a real platform that I built and paid for out of pocket, but I really am taken fairly seriously as an opinion blogger when it boils down. All I'm doing is just being me.

So twitter blew up. I wasn't really pushing anything in particular, no agenda, no hashtagging to my blogs over and over like some do, no lengthy diatribes like many do, no trailblazing into forays. All I did was share what caught my attention, what I thought was important, and what I can identify with. That's all.

I've had months where I worked very hard just to get up to 70K, so 80+K was a surprise. I haven't been looking at stats this autumn because I'm dealing with surgery recoveries and I mostly just go bury myself in minecraft when I feel overwhelmed, and that seems to help me keep my emotional balance.

My engagement keeps bouncing up. I was always happy with a 1.5%. I went over 3% at one point. That is considered a bit stunning in twitter analytics. I know some people are really good at stirring up interaction and gang yap, but I'm autist and I am not a natural chatty person. I do compulsively read every single thing I'm tagged in, which on some days is pretty challenging, but since I'm multitasking so hard every day, I can't do all the click stuff and stay on track with life in general, so this engagement stuff isn't coming from me chatting it up. This first capture is for a 7 day cycle.

This next capture is for a 28 day cycle. I have never been this on fire. E.V.E.R.

Let's see what's going on. Why is my twitter going so crazy when I barely even log on, and when I do I mostly just share something that caught my personal interest. I don't tag people, I don't hashtag much, I just share something pertinent.

I have never had a blog post hit the top like this. The second one down is an actual anon project that went viral, and I was one of the very first people to see it start up and then get the tweet out from the youtube to get it translated into as many languages as possible. The third one was my usual stuff, but it pretty much tripled from my usual numbers. The fourth one down was just me feeling irked at how missing the point twitter was being with all the mainstream media interference setting off the flaming hate fires. The whole #metoo movement completely lost the point that Kavanaugh is going to help stop #themtoo, all the pedos in the human trafficking rings. Oh my god, how lost was that on the masses. Chain yank hate is so frustrating. Let's all hate the guy who is going to put child rapists behind bars, ok? Damn.

Because DAMN.

And then this. How many people completely missed that George Herbert Walker Bush's indictment went VIRAL. I grabbed it off discord and ran with it in a blog post.

Y'all can sit there and froth all you want. Pinky has bigger, better things to do. Pinky is being awesome because the mainstream is dropping the ball so badly. Click this next for an awesome cute page full of pink heroes.

It's not about left and right. It's about bad guys.

And if you don't know by now that Bush Sr is a really bad guy, again, blame the mainstream. All your dreams of the torments of hell visited on the right are going to come true, thanks to Trump and Q. All you lefties who think I've lost my mind, this is only the beginning. W is going down, too. The right vilifies Hillary, yes, but the target is much bigger than simply taking left and right down. They're taking the banks down. That is already ready to roll out. I've been hearing since last January that we need to be ready, have a month's worth of food, water, toilet paper, keep your vehicles gassed up, keep some cash on you, make sure you've got everything you need to make it through a big natural disaster, and you will survive the banking flip. Spread the word, tell everyone you can.

From gesarahelp.org

The Global Economic Security and Reform Act is a global prosperity program on the verge of being announced and activated. This program is backed by precious metals deliverable well above quattuordecillion of US dollars (40 zeros).

All 8 billion of the human population will benefit from GESARA.

And the Earth will finally be free to experience itself as the abundant planet it was created to be.

Few realize that there is more than enough gold to make all human currencies in circulation.

You can get much more super quick info with this twitter thread. FYI, the person organizing that research into information threads is a Q-appointed drops officer on discord. Front lines, people.

I grew up with a conspiracy theorist father. He followed every lead as far as it would go. Back then it was all in print or on radio. It was super rare to get real photos, especially in real time.

Nowadays, we are so saturated with fiction that we easily take for granted or dismiss reality, even when it's right under our noses. It's easy to scoff when the mainstream media platforms aren't spoonfeeding us vital information. They all repeat the same things and that's all we hear all day and night. Why might the people who own news agencies have an agenda to suppress news? We've all heard about water powered cars. Why don't they exist? We know we can charge our phones wirelessly. Why not our houses? Have you ever thought about how easy life might get if we could actually use the kind of science we see in sci-fi shows? Especially since we've had these inventions for decades...

Information is about to explode. The world is about to change. Get ready.




Wait, here's a blue pill for ya. I know that was a lot to take.

Happy Halloween, ya filthy animals!

So Bush Sr., right? I know! omg O_O I got this off the new Q discord, btw. Click this screensnip to see the ENTIRE document.

THAT, ladies and gentlemen, is what 'draining the swamp' means. This has nothing to do with right vs left. This has everything to do with bad guys running governments. Haven't I been saying crime lords run governments? And this is only the beginning.

The major prize is the top Rothschild. I'm hoping that's a Christmas present.

If you'd like to keep up with more *actual* breaking news that goes way deeper than mainstream media blurbs and viral buzz, get a discord account and hang out with the people on the front lines of the info wars. Like Q told us today, "Information is free."

And at the heart of this war, for real, is saving the children. There is a real actual video of a particular very high up person in U.S. politics slicing the face off a little girl and putting it on her own face to scare her. That video was put on the dark web by an insider as collateral (birds sing in the cage, as Q says), and the cops that have seen it have been shown sobbing and even throwing up while they watched it. I've seen part of the vid. That kind of stuff puts you off make believe horror movies.

The question comes up- why? Why in the world do this? Because spiking blood and adrenaline with fear and pain is a very real drug. Think vampires were made up? They're real. They grow up this way. They raise their kids this way. They have kids to sell and use. Kids being sold as commodities around the world is hugely real. It's not just pedo rape, guys. It's actual cannibalism. This is on record, and all you have to do is start looking. There are so many people coming out this year with their survival stories, their escape stories, their nightmare lives with PTSD from living like this. (This hugely begs the question of why so many horror films are made- as if they are callousing us to a reality so we'll think it's fun and nonsense. It's so easy to dismiss survivors telling their stories.) 

By the way, I know my biggest traffic drive is facebook, worldwide. I see the stats. Just because no one is responding to the stuff I share there doesn't mean people aren't hanging on it. You're not alone, guys, and lurking is good. I'll never call anyone out for lurking.

Those of you still coming back to #Pinkyblog know I've been saying these things for years, mostly in hints, but this year there is a surge of people of people around the world coming out with the truth about things they've seen, lived through, heard from people they know. They are all over youtube and twitter trying to tell their stories, and the medias keep kicking their accounts. Why?

***Because rich people don't want to go to jail.***

And some of these rich people are in so deep over collusion for drug and human trafficking, illegal deals with other countries, buying off and silencing authorities at every turn, even having planes crashed to stop the truth from coming out.

This is a terrible, horrible game they play. We are at the very bottom of the literal food chain. We are kept inebriated, frustrated, distracted, and too indebted to escape our grinds, and we feel so helpless sometimes that it's all we can do to lash out at medias keeping us upset all. the. time.

For the first time in my entire life, I actually have hope. I have seen the New World Order coming for nearly 20 years. Before Q came along I had just about given up and decided there is nothing any more now that can stop it. Globalism would eventually wind up with a world police state governing all of us, and the United Nations would be our court system. How many scifi shows have already demo'd this for us? It's like they're getting us used to the idea. If you've never seen the TV show Lexx, that first episode is what I imagined our world becoming once all that was finally established.

We are in World War 3 right now. It is already being fought, feverishly. This war is our last possible chance to escape the coming World Bank of us all, the final marriage of church and state over all our money in the whole world. Once this is locked down, our freedoms will keep being repealed until we are so disillusioned with media driven frothing and depression that we will beg social services to give us anything to numb us. We'll line up for brain chips. We'll gladly become drones. Why do you think they talk about depression and A.I. nonstop?

I have hope now. I am having the best year I've had in a very long time. I feel happy and lighthearted and grateful, and every day is so much easier than past years. I had no idea how suppressed I felt just feeling like there was no escape from the daily grind of just living my life. I saw no good future for my kids and grandkids, and that was hard. All the news is bad, all the time. Well, now there is good news.

The good news at the top of this article is that U.S. Presidents are not above the law, and that no matter how old they become, they are not free of answering to the crimes they commit. The good news is that our military decided to stop being mercenary pawns and made a plan to take themselves back from their owners, the world bankers. Because that's who were telling our Presidents what to do. Our Presidents, both right and left for many years, have been puppets helping the Rothschilds and other uber wealthy families bully other countries into joining the world banking system. Behind this are many murders, many illegal drug protection rackets, many stupid and ridiculous 'wars' killing our loved ones.

They think they own us.

Well, Q says they don't. The anons can take over the web ANY. TIME. Some of them are working with the Q team to make sure all the information that keeps being scrubbed and redacted is available for judicial systems to peruse. The Q team is helping POTUS pave the way for good guys to do their jobs without their hands being tied. So many of our cop shows are about good police vs bad police. Real life stuff is going down this year, much more exciting that fictionalized cop shows. Pay attention.

Everything we need to know is available, it's out there. We have to do our own digging and researching and brain storming with other people like us, because the stuff we are being spoonfed on medias and news shows is keeping us distracted. Free energy? That's real. Anti-gravity? That's real, too. We already have so much technology that keeps being squashed out of existence. The smart people either get murdered or get paid off and sent to live somewhere nice so they won't talk. The rich people don't want their cash flow to stop.

And behind all of it, half a million kids disappeared in the United States last year. Well, 490K, but let's get real, that's an average of 9800 kids per state. How in the world is that not a national security issue in our mainstream news???

Well, it's definitely a national security issue now.

Q loves children enough to go save them.

media moguls

I know, right.

~CAUTION~ There is a rant further down. Don't scroll if you don't wanna see it.

Two more months of payments until I can revert back to my original path. I'm feeling terribly impatient. I haven't been able to get into my original Yablo blog on xanga since 2017. All the private stuff is inaccessible. Same with a couple of my other blogs.

I'm kind of looking over bluehost. Not sure yet if that's where I'm going with my personal blogging.

In 6 months my G+ platform will be gone. All the Lexxperience stuff needs to move within the next 6 months. All of that will be going to SyfyDesigns.

I'm not worried about the WordPress stuff. My blogger stuff is at risk. Google is a mess, and they own blogger, which, by the way, has the easiest manual coding I've ever seen for a free blog. That's why #Pinkyblog settled into blogger.

Google+ to shut down after 500,000 users' data may have been exposed: Users may have been exposed by a bug that was present in Google systems for more than two years

Google’s iron grip on Android: Controlling open source by any means necessary

I'm pretty sure Google is breaking up with me

The Case Against Google: Critics say the search giant is squelching competition before it begins. Should the government step in?

Google admits giving hundreds of firms access to your Gmail inbox

And of course, Google has been building that big censor engine for China, so 1984 is officially live and well now.

Speaking of censored brutality, how many of you knew acid attacks are a thing in London now? Some activist groups around the world are groomed for public legal gathering attacks via throwing acid on people, causing severe disfigurement and even death. That's a real thing. Is it happening in the U.S. too? How can we tell if the media platform giants censor their news? And they obviously are. Nearly 1000 more pages were scrubbed off Facebook this week. I guess if they figure they're going down, may as well be as childish as they can on their way out.

Facebook's prolonged struggle to nullify the spread of misleading information on its platform took a bold step on Thursday, when the company scrubbed over 800 pages for promoting what it calls "inauthentic behavior."

Ok, hop off now if you don't wanna see the rant.

First of all, this wasn't a struggle until Trump got into office, secondly, it's hugely biased while child porn and human trafficking pages remain untouched, and thirdly, that's exactly what they're going down for with the congressional hearings, even though mainstream media isn't reporting it that way. The sealed indictment count is over 71K, and we're so close now to being able to legally dismantle (because human trafficking is such a huge industry, and that is a crime against humanity) the elite Cabal of world banking families holding all our countries in a vice grip that if we fail, humanity will literally move into mass slavery within the next generation. We will never have another chance after this to free ourselves of debt slavery tyrants.

When social media giants voluntarily purge free human trafficking accounts from their platforms, I will believe they actually care about this world. The only way I can report twitter accounts openly spamming the actual words "sex slave trade" every two minutes (complete with teenage model) is to report them for spamming. There is absolutely no other way to report criminal activity concerning sex and children on twitter.

Let me repeat that.

THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NO OTHER WAY TO REPORT CRIMINAL ACTIVITY CONCERNING SEX AND CHILDREN ON TWITTER.

And the same with Facebook. Several child farming accounts have tried to follow me, and I reported them, and that's how I know how difficult it is to report child sex trafficking.

Number of NCIC missing persons files in the United States in 2017, by age and gender-

"There were 260,977 cases of missing females under the age of 21 in 2017."

Um... there were nearly 500K missing children in the U.S. last year. How many of those kids are being kept around as sex toys? How many are sold off and slipped out of the country? How many are brutalized to the point of murder? I'm watching mainstream media bring the entire country to a froth this last month over one woman, and the ones frothing don't stop and ask what is behind all this? Why in the world is it so important to stop one man from getting a position? It's just a job. Well, it's the kind of job that will allow the prosecution of 71K sealed indictments...

If media giants are protecting trafficker rights over child safety, shouldn't someone be doing something about that?

They're trying.

I've had my fill of media bias, people who froth over someone crying on TV vs actually listening to real survivors who can name names but fear for their lives, and distraught parents with missing children being blown off by justice systems that could have done something all these years. I know someone whose daughter was abducted. I cannot think of a more horrific way to live than to wonder who is raping my child. The saddest part of saying that is remembering my first marriage. I cannot convey the sadness that sticks with a person their entire life when they realize...

493, 156 missing children in the U.S. last year. That is unacceptable. And if your first thought is Well, not all of them are rape victims, give me an acceptable number. Stand up for acceptable child rape.

Because that's what you're doing.

This rant is now over. Please pick up some complimentary nachos on the way out. Have a nice day.

Ok, I feel better now. That's been bottled up awhile.

People generally don't talk to me very openly about much. This is why. I understand it's my own personal problem and I'm learning to accept that. But I know if a single one of my friends lost a child to an abduction, they would go insane tearing up the medias.

You cannot imagine the pain until you've been there. You cannot envision a world without blinders until you've had them ripped off. You cannot understand why the world is the way it is until you see it through the eyes of the survivors. You cannot say what is right and what is wrong until you know what is really going on. You cannot trust corporate media to stand up for your humanity, your dignity, and your freedom to be unassaulted when they are owned by those who own the whole world. Why do you think it's so hard to do the right thing? Why is there a maze of walls at every turn? Because someone with big money doesn't want to go to jail.

Point blank.

G+ You have failed this city

Aaaaand there goes my platform.

Guess it's time to get busy.

the track

pix link back to this original site

My best advice to anyone going into carpal release and/or arthroscopic surgeries is to clip your toenails before it all goes down, because that's going to be a regret for awhile if you don't. I'm 13 days out and still cannot simultaneously grasp, squeeze, and hang onto a clipper with my dominant hand, and even if I could, I can barely keep my knee bent enough to reach it long enough to conquer that without spiking some interesting pain.

On the positive note, though, the stitches are out of my hand now and I was able to get into a Walmart for big packs of paper plates and paper towels while I was out, since I forgot about that when bonenado drove us in over the weekend. I went slow but my knee is still a bit throbby, and my hand is definitely feeling the drive today. Was told it'll still be at least a month (or longer) on both hand and knee before I'm really capable of faking some kind of normal again, and to be patient and keep doing my commanded stretching, flexing, and resting. I'm still dropping things, but ahead of the game on most of the other healing. Overdoing will obviously be counterintuitive.

Things this month-

• Switch out the Kaspersky before the 12th. Yes, still using it... But that's my last day and I need to be on it before auto renew.
• Prepare for MS Office and Geek Squad protection renewal. This is my big money month.
• Actually contact (nicely) the publishers back and don't let another 5 years slide by.
• Check up on the Lexx stuff lightly piling up, but involves work.
• Start leveling up my commands and responsibilities on the game server.
• Review my money plan for the rest of the year before the holiday slide goes out of control.
• Organize the material I already have into a format and fill in the holes.

Today I am airing out my house while the weather is finally nice again. Starting to sound a little like autumn out there. Thinking about trying a fried cheese sticks recipe tonight. Accidentally wound up with mozzarella sticks this summer. Catch up some chores around the house in between rest breaks. Need to keep using paper plates, plasticware, and plastic cups for another week or I won't be able to keep up, but I have started cooking a little again.

As small victories go, I have kept off 2 pounds from the start of last month to the start of this month, so I will continue my daily weight calendar logging and keep working on reigning in the calories. It was really challenging doing this with all the extra sitting around I've had to do, the extra meds and IV fluids, but I'm done with this ridiculous feeling stuck on this plateau thing and aiming to get at least 20 pounds off over the next year just by cutting out that one extra nibbly a day that I'd gotten used to doing since the kids moved in. It's really hard being surrounded by extra yummies that high energy people inhale without a problem, but at least I'm keeping it stable. I won't be able to get back on the regular routine I had a couple of years ago until my knee is ready, so no burning stuff off.

Since this month has been so challenging I splurged on some Halloween lounge pants for $10. This autumn is all about the lounge in my fashion wear. Comfort is key. Oh, almost forgot, my blood pressure is still fabulous after all that. Controlling that pain level is super key.

I've never had writer's block. I have life block. I envy people who have more than one hour a day (if that long) to sit and write without having to stop. Most of my blogging is done in bits and pieces, sentence here, paragraph there, and lots of stuff you don't see me doing in between. Today is the first wonderfully peaceful, quiet, and as close to pain-free as it gets after surgery day that I've had in a long time. I'm organizing my track.

Go watch this movie.

long before I ever heard of the law of one

This playing card is from the the board game
24: Countdown
which I have in my house

In 2008 I struggled with who I feel like I'm supposed to be being. I struggled with my belief system and what I inherently feel is right. I struggled to express myself against a mainstream grain that had me rigidly locked into formation to the point of self destruction. I struggled for my life, my soul, my sanity in a world full of locked rooms, rules about keeping secrets, and masks we were all supposed to be wearing. Colors suddenly seemed very important to me, and it was crucial that I find my color. I kept remembering blue, it permeated my dreams throughout my life, and I could feel it was time to migrate somehow.

Always dreaming, never sleeping, kind of seeming I'm ok,
Touching no one, having no fun, wishing to go out and play.

Hear me whisper, feel me passing, wonder what they think of me,
See me fading, I'm just shadows, tasting only what is free.

No commitment, no surrender, nothing to pretend to hide,
Live forever, slowly dying, falling out of either side.

Keep me running, flying nowhere, prancing round a misty dawn,
Racing stillness, moonlight standing, floating wreaths of breathy prawn.

Nothing matters, worldly guessing, logic hopeless reason chance,
Sculpted meaning, mindless treasure, my place is to sing and dance.

Ever since that spring I've felt like if I don't say what I'm supposed to say, what I'm here to say, I will fail. This is one of the first really honest pieces I ever wrote for public. Bluejacky (originally on xanga) is here to be honest. Going back now and rereading this after running into the Law of One is blowing me away. (That is a simplistic link for easy condensed thought, nothing else.)

(I'm struggling with the format moving this over from original since the coding went through a webkit grinder during server move years ago, and blogger won't let me preview correctly, so I'm winging this. I got it wrestled into a box on the laptop, no telling how it will look on mobile.)

Stars on a blue spectrum are moving toward us. Ever since I was born I have been fascinated by this kind of blue, blue light, blue in nature. I even wanted to be blue. Blue skin, blue hair. I sometimes dream in vivid blue.

Sometimes I feel like I have memories of something other than here as I am now. I have tried reading a few new age books and am a little disappointed at the consistent romanticism, although I long ago reached the conclusion in my childhood without anyone telling me this, that we are here to learn, and that if we fail to learn while we have the chance we get 'stuck' or something. Getting stuck is far worse suffering than any suffering we go through learning to sacrifice ourselves for love. Respect and courtesy for others in any shape or form is more important than any ideas we get in our heads that drive us apart with disdain and violence. Appreciation and contentment are more important than acquisition and pride. Truth is good, forgiveness is better. Our learning boils down to whether we pick being selfish or being selfless. Will we destroy others, or will we become wise and puzzle a way to get along?

If it is true that we travel around this universe (and others?) in all kinds of bodies while our spirits learn and grow wise, then I know I have been other places than here.

Time and distance have no meaning outside this box that contains time and distance.

As a child I looked up at the night sky and knew I came from out there. I felt this long before I ever encountered the idea. I feel like this place now, although I like it very much, is a place I am visiting. This feeling is congruent with many beliefs, including Christianity, Buddhism, and atheism.

When I first was, I was joy. I was energy- glorious, thrilling, exhilarating energy. I knew nothing else. I swam in an endless world of joyful energy, all of us bouncing and rebounding, racing, feeling nothing but joy.

That is what being alive starts out as, I am sure of it. I feel like I remember it. It's a very old memory, one I cherish, one I miss sometimes, without really knowing this or understanding it. But I want to feel that joy again. I want to feel that exhilaration and energy and swim in a sea of joy.

Was that the big bang? Was that the beginning of this universe? Will I ever know?

Over a great deal of time, I feel I became aware of a little bit going on around me. This is me, that is not me. I bump into that. That is what being alive starts teaching us. We are not alone. We interact. And over a great deal of time, we learn that we affect one another.

We start simply. Photons? Were we light? They say we come from the stars, but I'm sure that assumes our bodies are made of the elements created in the stars. What about our spirits, who we are? Is there more than this body? I feel like there is way, way more.

Over another great deal of time we learn concepts. Survive. Work to survive. Cooperate to survive. Absorb to survive. Kill to survive. Rocks don't do this. Algae, viruses, cells, organisms. Are cells self aware in some tiny way? Is that how a universe of cells in a body can communicate and cooperate so quickly? Can we become more than knee-jerk reaction, more than mindless consumption?

Over another great deal of time we learn feelings and the actions they inspire. Loyalty. Protect. Help. Give. Die to insure the survival of the whole. We become a society, aware of others. Tiny birds do this. Some insects do this. Some plants do this. Basic training for everything from the least of these to higher organisms like dogs and people.

Over more time we learn emotional pain. Loss. Anguish. The absence of others. The idea that we cherished others. The need for others. To learn from. To love. To share joy with.

And over more time we learn the strength to withstand all of this, to grow into a new kind of joy that transcends time and place, and who we are. We learn to see it all, appreciate it all, and become- what?

What is next? Please tell me it's not some inert heaven or nirvana where we stop growing. I think we have that concept all wrong.

Perhaps this universe is preparing us for the next one. Or perhaps one day we'll be outside the cauldron of universe bubbles in an completely new way of being, seeing, and feeling.

I love being here. I love learning geology, cosmology, anthropology- the histories of everything I can see. I feel like I am so lucky to be living right now, in this time and place. At no other time in human history has so much information been accessible with my fingertips while I sit in a chair. At no other time has so much knowledge been amassed. We almost know the entire history of the earth, the sun, how long they'll last, the history of our galaxy, it's probable future, and we even now know how old the universe itself is, and so many of its secrets. We were blind like salamanders in a cave only a handful of years ago, and now we can see what seems like everything.

This will never come again in human history. If anything happens to this earth, all this knowledge will be lost. If anyone survives over the next several thousand, or even a few hundred years, what's left of knowledge will become myth and legend. It will be as if we never really existed.

Blue is much more than a color to me. It is something I once was, a state of being, information I don't know how to access, a strong feeling I'm not able to verbalize. Somehow it is part of who I am, and for some reason, it feels important. I realize this could just be a manifestation of my weird aspie brain. But I also wonder if my weird aspie brain is able to feel more than this box world we live in. I have a feeling many more people can feel more than they are able to understand or willing to admit.

Enjoy learning on this earth while we have time. Enjoy that we are all precious.

I've spent years living a double life, tearing my head apart in one direction while I soak up entertainment in another. I love to think. Over the years it's become almost stupidly obvious that entertainment is a brain training medium that seems designed to stultify the actual thought process. I brought up the movie Equilibrium in an old Autisable submission called Psyching Up – Becoming Liberated. I've made a lot of progress since 2011, but even back then my dichotomies were glowing like neon.

I think it’s really bothering him that I can so easily skate around morals and ethics in noncommittal ways. I have a few opinions, but I’ve already realized a long time ago that opinions can change and that having opinions doesn’t necessarily affect the reality around my life. In fact, I believe opinions are rather useless in most instances unless they directly relate to the way I behave toward other people, and we all know I tend to believe the person in front of me is more important than any opinions I might have. I think I’ve lost him somewhere in all that.

I can see now that he was holding space for me as I navigated my way through my jungle. I know now that I learned to dissociate, that I passive aggressively displaced blame, and that I didn't live what I instinctively feel inside is right. I spent many years pinging around in my head like a pinball, defending things I actually don't even believe in. I was trained to do that. All the same, it bothered me, and I felt compelled to sift down meaning before I lost myself in wasted time.

This spring and summer I've been catching up on David Wilcock's stuff. I had always liked all the people on Ancient Aliens and often picked up books some of them wrote, but I had never chased David around the webs. Until this year. Wow, I missed a lot all this time, probably the most and the best, but like all the other synchronicity I talk about, I probably wasn't ready for it yet. As I've been listening to several years of talks, I was very surprised to hear thoughts I'd previously had coming right out of his mouth. I've run into this before, where I think something and then run into it somewhere, and have written about how ideas seem to hit a lot of people all over the world around the same time, and I joke about how all I have to do is relax and wait for someone else to do all the work developing the ideas that I feel compulsed to get into, and it's amazing how many times that has happened. It's like I just think something, I'd like to know more about this or that, and pretty quick, I run into it all over the place. Weirdly, though, quite a lot more poured out of David that I've been thinking about for years and had never run into before, because I've honestly just never looked that hard. It's been exhilarating.

But another very surprising thing showed up in David's talks. He brought up the Cabal... I've been going deep on that for awhile now, shows up on posts going back a few years, figuring out how I fit into the world picture and why I might know more than some others, but then David connected a whole buncha dots putting logic together with spirituality in a world going down a political sinkhole, tossed in Corey Goode (so fitting that his website is down right now, everyone mentioning the Cabal is being ripped out of spacetime) and everything just lit up. The whole point to being here is on the line. Our long line of evolutionary development is right on the edge of tipping over because a few super wealthy people think they own the planet. I already knew millions have been suffering for decades (millennia) for the rich and their games, but I had no idea the portent of now.

I love Jack Bauer. I love Kiefer. I'm sad Kiefer is a tool, but I'm glad I saw his existence. In spite of fails, seeds were planted.

And this was my song when I needed it most during the hardest parts of my life.

pinky's brain crammed into one post

click for more

~started yesterday~

So I'm doing this 1500 calorie thing again because it worked in 2011, but the main difference now is every time I start keeping track, my day/week winds up remapping into a whole new set of objectives, like lose 4 pounds, drop everything for crisis, put two pounds back on dealing with it, and it's just not a smooth one direction thing like last time. In the last 4 months I've rescheduled several things 2-3 times each until I finally just gave up and said ok, not happening, just toss it way out there a few months ahead and hopefully everything will be settled back down when we come back around to them. Everything from dental cleaning to surgery has gotten tossed around the calendar like I'm rolling dice. I've had some pretty out of control years, but this one feels like I'm hanging on in a rodeo.

Meanwhile I can feel that bone chip sliding around my knee, now that I know what that is, and it's weird how nauseated it makes me feel now thinking about it, so I just try not to. It slipped into a bad spot a few times today, and finally feeling it slide out and get squished to the back behind my knee about made me sick. All these years I've been mentally blocking that pain, and now that I can visualize it (thank you, MRI), I'm so grossed out I can hardly stand it.

These things took precedence on my silver anniversary-

• A loud argument next door that bonenado had to go break up
• A rescheduled birthday party displaced twice between a vacation and then a broken arm
• Someone I don't even know dying but wound up getting texts over
• Another person's cancer announcement from a church I don't even go to any more
•  A few other things but those are the biggies.

I guess the rest of my life will be like that. I guess that's what getting older is like. Everything from now on is all bad news and other people's problems. There's no escape unless I literally go live alone completely off the grid.

I'm getting better at not caring any more. It used to upset me that every time I had *one* day for myself, after maybe months of not having any, that day would be slammed with so much other people's stuff. It took me awhile to realize it's always been that way, and it's like that for everybody. Several people have noticed, though, that it does seem awfully coincidental with me for some reason, like the second it's finally my turn for something, 4 people slam me immediately with bad news or crisis or something. I have literally gotten back to back phone calls of pure meltdown from several unrelated people/situations within seconds of thinking "I feel pretty good today."

So my silver anniversary going by unnoticed was fine with me. I mean, bonenado got me a nice card and even handed me some extra cash to toss into my account, and I joked that I got a good wife bonus, but other than that, it was just another day. If I had spent one second thinking about how it should be special, I'm pretty sure someone would have died just to jinx it, so it's better that it stayed low key so no one would die from the cosmos making a joke about it.

What am I saying. I just said up there someone died. *slaps forehead*

~now it's today~

I know that list up there looked really selfish. That is my narcissist-autism diagnosis. How the universe rebounds off of me and my existence is the first instinctual reaction, which is kinda like being stuck in that 5 year old ego phase. I openly admit this has been one of my biggest challenges all my life. I'm not a naturally forgiving and empathetic person. Of course I feel bad for other people having worse days, good lord. But part of transparency in my personal blogging is allowing public to get a glimpse of how my head works, because I know it's hard being around people like me not understanding what makes us tick.

Every day naturally revolves around me because I am in this body living these moments head on. This is the animal level of our existence. But I have this wonderful mind that can think outside the box, and over the years I've evolved through a whole journey of complex thinking that started with 'everyone is so stupid' to 'why can't they see and fix their own stuff' to 'aw, all our heads are unique' to 'it's actually easy to forgive other people for being unique, kind of like how pets are unique' to 'God, please help all my people have a good day because life is hard and we're having a hard time'. I really do pray that. If I listed all the people I think about every single day, everyone who crosses my mind while I get through my own stuff, you would likely find yourself on this list, unless you're one of the darker lurkers who has never surfaced on the webs in front of me.

I dealt with a lot of autism and narcissism related things on my last Pinky blog before I migrated here, so if you are new and want more, there's your links. I might eventually organize a few pages here like a library system, group up links kind of thing.

I have been crazy 'bizzy' (Bunny says she gets bizzy when she twirls in circles), so I haven't been focus blogging here that much yet. I'll get some specific tags going with this post so that can start happening again.

Months ago I said I need to get back to sharing real life pix again. Time slid crazily by. I've been trying to get back to my Lexxperience work. I feel like I'm hanging on by fingertips to the edge of a tipping iceberg. Lists? HA. Every time I even make a list now my life explodes in 19 different directions.

And yet, things keep getting done...

I have about 6 hours to catch up on a big pile of chores around my house. I'm not sure what happened, but my family suddenly dove in and purged the livingroom and it's looking really nice, so it's my turn to dive back in and keep my regular chores caught up. They don't know I was up nearly all night because pain, but it's all good and I'm functional today and I can totally do this. Just need to wrap my head around and get started.

**********

2 hours just slid by. Dark and raining outside, house is so quiet, cool mood. I just need peace, you know? The world is such a rat race. In my house alone we have 2 1/2 incomes (not counting my meager SSI) and still live check to check. We live on bare basics, nothing fancy, more in the lower end of middle class. It wouldn't take much to cripple us into another bankruptcy. And that's the way the world works now, isn't it? That's just the way it's going to be now. Unless something happens and the world flips. I was halfway joking years ago that all it would take is the grids going down to automatically throw our nation into debt forgiveness. I mean, if you can't access digital debt, it's just gone, right? And then we'd have to start from scratch because our grid system is such a crazy cobbled mess of really old machinery plugged into new tech. Seriously, our national grid system is barely functional as a systemic failsafe for our population. 5G is going up everywhere, and it would be a cinch to knock it all back offline just because our grid system is a mess.

Aging And Unstable, The Nation's Electrical Grid Is 'The Weakest Link'

How Power Grid Hacks Work, and When You Should Panic

The 9 Worst Designed Cities in the US

Iraq Power Grid Shows U.S. Flaws

Energy | ASCE's 2017 Infrastructure Report Card

And that's just the top of a long list in google search looking for flaws in the U.S. grid system.

Ok, back to whatever my in the moment is. THIS IS IMPORTANT. Check out the coolest kickstarter ever.

And if you want something with some crazy cosmic intellectual meat in it, click this next for another youtube that can fill up the void around you while you get through another day. Dismiss how weird it is, just let go and float into the possibilities. It's like real life scifi opening new doors.

For those of you who immediately scrolled down for the walk-off vid, first, this teaser.

Which makes us happyhappyhappy. I can walk away now.

the Pinklist begins

~started last week and I forgot about it~

I was wondering how long it would be before a hijacker hopped on. I'd like to gratz my first to show up, the ever popular pizza imperia that actually clicks out to parkabovedotcom with a 20-line script just in the address that probably gets my dental records while it's at it.

The ultimate list of referrer spam

I recognize at least 20 on that list that made me crazy on my last blog. Interesting note, I didn't get ANY of that on this new blog until I listed it with my google properties. Made over 40 posts without any hitchhikers, and then I blew it. *shakes fist at google*

*sigh*

Also, Peru has joined my merry mashup of miscreants. It's the richest country in the world, and also the top cocaine producer. They have all kinds of cool stuff there, like mummies and the Inca, mystical doorways to other worlds across the cosmos, Nazca lines, Cusco, and ancient elongated skulls that some purport to be alien-human hybrids. Also, besides their politics being scary, I think they have bunkers in the mountains for the uber wealthy around the world in case an asteroid hits or they decide to nuke everyone per the Georgia Guidestones. Hi, Peru. *waves*

For newbies, this goes back to The Pinklist, and more fun with GWT hijacking on my old blog.

~now it's today~

Hello, person who opened every single thing openable on here in 10 minutes flat and I can see your house because failure to mask. Thanks for the multiple shares, pretend I served you some complimentary nachos, and kudos for the crazy widget trails that looked like you were copying every piece of code on my page. If this was bait, you're not the first. If this was a hack, sorry if you didn't get much. If this was pure innocence, not a clue what that blitz was. It's really rare I see a visitor trail blazing through like the one you left today. *standing up, slow clap* Brava.

Andy Baio: Think You Can Hide, Anonymous Blogger? Two Words: Google Analytics

Actually, statcounter caught that, I didn't even waste my time looking for you in analytics.

Ok, on to real life. Crazy weekend, some of you following caught the kiddo broken arm surgery overnight in hospital thing. We're on the second night, comes home tomorrow. Thanx to everyone across my medias and gaming who expressed concerns and good cheer, and now I'm in faceplant spoonie mode while bonenado takes care of a few things this evening. I'm back on duty tomorrow for trip home from hospital, and may not be available for much else.

3 1/2 weeks until my double surgery, so the race is on against a cosmos aiming for the big target painted on my life, will I complete my mission to win back my bedroom before the big recovery week? Bets are on, and if I manage to successfully duck and dodge in slo-mo it'll be pure accident. I'm definitely in dumb wut? mode right now. I'm this close to Arthur Dent tripping and majestically flying level. (Definitely worth the click and read if you don't know wth I'm talking about.)

This just came in on notifications (likely a fan reupload to keep it available), so go bump up your brain and awareness levels. David Wilcock 2018 * With Zero Point Energy and Advanced Propulsion Technology! Original channel is at Divine Cosmos and possibly content shadowed by Discover the Secret. The main thing is pure information not available in mainstream education. It's nice finding people who spend lifetimes on research on information that is very difficult to get openly. Freedom of information and freedom of speech are an illusion, and I appreciate people putting their lives on the line to keep sharing.

undrowning in my own house, or, just eat the cheese already

snips are from cards over the years

Exactly 5 months until Christmas Eve, the biggest holiday of the year that periodically mocks my life. I'm currently 2 days into my 5-day crisis management plan, the crisis being that every day of my life is governed by the continual crises of other people, the management being taking back my house, dagnabit.

For the most part, I am not a materialistic person. I watched confliction pull my mom apart from her own more materialistically oriented family (the kind of quiet wealth where she knew of at least one person a generation back who had a luxuriously golden bathroom, yes, real gold), and although it's nice to have nice things and look nice and be nice people, it's also very disturbing to see how ugly some people can be behind those very nice things.

Sorry if this is hard to read.

When I was a little girl I was told "Pretty is as pretty does", and I grew up noticing how hard people try to hide how ugly they really act when they are trying their best to be pretty people with pretty houses. It made no sense to me that my mom was her ugliest on Sundays, when she was under pressure to get four children to church. Incongruity is one of my favorite words, because I thought about it so much.

Christians being racist make me physically nauseous, thanks to my beautifully ugly grandmother cutting her own son off from her life. I cannot even imagine rejecting my own grandchildren, and would never dream of turning a child of mine away from my house, and that very much includes a step child. She is mine. I raised her, I love her, I will never not care deeply for her and her child. I try to imagine sometimes going back in time and having a discussion with my grandmother, with her at this age I am.

My own life in this house feels like insane hilarity and jocularity in a sort of cosmic joke kind of way, where whenever I even attempt to pretend I come from nice and pretty people, everything around me explodes apart into crisis after crisis until I am so beaten down that simply falling on my face as gracefully as possible for the millionth time is wearing me out badly enough that I can barely function emotionally. I have to switch everything inside of me off to make everything else around me ok, and usually everything around me is so chaotic that all I see is other people flailing through their lives. They may think they're holding it together, but what they're really doing is flailing from one crisis to the next in pretty clothes.

I have very real PTSD over the compulsion to look our best. Both my sisters had eating disorders in high school, I was a chain smoking alcoholic when I looked my prettiest (skinniest), and I know other psychological disorders very well, thanks to extended friends and family with a variety of challenges, so I recognize that my own life is about surviving other people's crises all around me in my own home. I am surviving poor coping skills, a host of displacement behaviors, all kinds of fallout originally intended to fix the happiness factor that can't possibly be maintained, and I'm the one drowning.

I'm drowning in materialism. I'm drowning in things. I'm drowning in products that promise beauty and happiness and better living. My house is so full of junk continually coming into it that I can't walk through a single part of it and not see it. I can't escape it, I can't make it stop, I can't put it anywhere that it will stay. The funniest part is that I'm the one home all day long with all this stuff.

I could be an ugly person and draw big ugly boundaries so that I have a beautiful house, or I can choose to be a pretty person and allow spillways of people I love splashing through my life and have a beautiful home. Because of the emotional traumas I saw and went through growing up, I will never make a material object worth more to me than another person's feelings. I want to be happy to see the faces of the people I love, not angry because they messed up something material.

But I really need my bedroom back. I need to stop feeling like I'm swimming through my own house. I need a safe place to hide. Maybe it's time to make a boundary.

I could go on, but I don't want to be an ugly person. Being walked in on without knocking (not talking about the child) is better than not being spoken to. Sharing space with people is better than being alone.

These are the other people I wish I could see.
It's been years again.

Like I finally said out loud for the first time in my life the other day, though- I've been cleaning up after people since I was seven years old. That's how old I was when I started folding laundry, doing dishes, cooking, cleaning the house, and helping my dad with the chores outside. Come October I will have spent 50 years of my life cleaning up after other people and their animals with no pay or reward back except that I get to live in a house I didn't pay for. My biggest challenge lately is not feeling peevish. I think about all the women all over the world over thousands of years who could probably say the same thing. There is no escape or relief, there is nothing that can ever repay us, and our only reward is seeing our people thrive because we worked so hard behind them.

It's lately come to my attention that I've been keeping up all this time with a bone chip from my thigh bone migrating around the band of tissue holding my knee together. "There is a focal full-thickness chondral defect present involving the central weightbearing portion of the lateral femoral condyle measuring 0.6 x 0.7 cm in the transverse and AP dimensions with a mild degree of underlying reactive edema-like marrow signal abnormality. A similar sized chondral body is present within the lateral compartment adjacent to the posterior aspect of the lateral femoral condyle. Intermediate grade chondromalacia is present involving the patellofemoral compartment with surface irregularity and partial-thickness fissuring."

I went out to pic clover and zucchini for BunBun and felt sorry for the maters.

Basically, I have this one week to rearrange my life so that I will be able to heal comfortably after surgery next month. I have a handful of days to do all the things for myself ahead of time that I know other people won't have the time to do for me later. After that everything will go wildly out of control again while I'm stuck healing, and as soon as I can get around, I will be swimming through more new (and used, thanks Goodwill!) things coming into my home.

I know a few people who will find it alarming that I've started matching up all my novelty sox in desperate effort to feel more organized. Yes, it's that bad.

*sigh*

Hang on, where's my just wonderful song?

the not so secret space program

~Yesterday~

My head is in 50 different places and I haven't really been talking about it all, so maybe I can lay it out here.

So of course it's really interesting listening to the Cosmic Disclosure interviews talking about die glocke around the same time I've been watching scifi written around it on 12 Monkeys (in a blown off way on that episode, until you take the entire season into account). A new space program has been announced, social medias are ramping up the verbal mud flinging around neo Nazi lingo that most people don't understand, and scifi is openly and very brazenly running with the bit mapping out what the hell a psychotic elite wants to do with this level of technology. As you can imagine, I'm loving every bit of it in a multidimensional level kind of way.

I've also this summer been watching myself from several angles while mostly staying mindfully centered (god, how broken am I), and I feel like a more holistic me is waking up to wondering how in the world I stayed really innocent for so long, even in my cynicism, and whether I really am ready yet to keep going forward to more. Psychologically, I love leaping around mountain crags for fun, like a goat maybe, but emotionally I am usually in the ravine far below, a bit of a turtle barely getting around a little ditch. Lately it feels like those extremes are meeting more in the middle, but at the same time it feels like I have everything turned off inside, and I seem to be aware of that, not oblivious to it. I'm in real time, I'm processing and knowing, and the emotional processing lag seems to be abating, but the real time stuff seems way less intense than having to sludge through the lag for some reason. Maybe it's because all that stuff got piled up in the past? I dunno. I do feel better about things in general, way less anxious, and a lot more realistic about what I can handle, so I think my real time is a lot healthier lately.

I finally claimed a webmii account.

Was surprised to see my score back up after a dismal winter, yay.

Right behind you, Lisa!

I know it seems dumb, but that is celebrity status for non celebrities. I'll use Gerald Webb as an example because he's a Snarkalec.

Or like Ellen Dubin because she's from Lexx.

Y'all know Benedict Cumberbatch has it made, thanks to his prolific fandom. I'm really glad he beats out Mark Zuckerberg.

You could play with that all day. Scores go up and down in real time depending on fresh and stable content and whether it's been looked at kind of thing. If you don't work for it yourself, someone else works hard on the webs for you with their content. The single biggest hook is having a unique name, or at least winding up at the top of a common name heap, although that alone won't pull a higher number for you.

Not too shabby.

Sorry, I'm waiting for a plane to land, just filling up my time. I've already reflexively almost knee-jerked into gotta do something for my people mode several times in the last hour and a half. I'm so used to stop, drop, and jumping for other people that this week is going to be an interesting experiment in how well I handle focusing on my own needs and relaxation and creativity and stuffs.

~Today~

Slept good, no weird nightmares, got my coffee, time to get on game. I've been moderating on a game server for a few months, usually in the mornings, and it seems to keep my head focused. I'm able to plan out and execute goals and strategies in game while juggling helping other players problem solve, and that seems to be helping my head relate back to real life. I used to make my lists and stuff. I barely make lists any more, only for big goals and not every little thing. Like this week, I have opportunities galore to do things in this house, so of course I have a list. Wasn't that long ago, couple or three years, my life was falling apart without a daily list. My brain is working so much better now. The change began when I weaned off the major meds and cleared out my head, but the really big change came after the sudden big wheat allergy. Since September 2014 I've not had any wheat at all in any form in my diet. Took a little time, but the fog lifting was almost immediate. The ability to think, read, and write, got easier over time. Add the CPAP last year and my brain took off like a kite. This year I feel like I have a lot of those IQ points back, thinking is way easier now, I'm remembering things better, staying time oriented.

I still have meltdowns here and there, usually med change related, pull me off the med, problem solved. If I'm getting emotional about something that's not my business or doesn't directly concerned me, that's a red flag. I know other people get emotional all the time over whiffs of political breeze, but I don't and never have because I was raised on political and religious debate since I was tiny. I can care deeply about issues and logic circles around people without getting all melty downy about it, so if I'm triggering over something small, time to look around inside and see what's going on that I need to personally deal with.

Was hearing on one of those cosmic disclosure interviews that the reason we aren't contacted and worked with directly already is because humans are way too emotional. We freak out over the tiniest things, we hate first and question later (if at all), we let emotions get in the way of problem solving, we pretty much screw ourselves and our relationships over emotions. That's why MK Ultra works so well with the CIA, they can rearrange braining into shoving emotions over, people get overwhelmingly big jobs done, and then they crack later when it's all over. Same with celebrities. How many of us would be able to work 16+ hour days in all kinds of conditions or live on tour buses for months at a time without cracking wide open? All of that is conditioned 'training'. They don't have to remember how hard it was.

Rebuilding memory after that kind of conditioning is hard. I never had professional conditioning, but to be broken by the broken (deep discussion with my psychologist over a parent being partially conditioned as a child) is probably just as bad, if not worse. The PTSD is real no matter how it's done.

I remember so many times as a child that I felt like a doll. I felt separate from this body. I'd look at my arms in horror and realize I was a trapped in a walking skeleton. Well, that is one of the key symptoms of dissociation. When my own little girl said she felt like a doll when she was young, my radar went full alert. I knew exactly what she meant. She had gone through actual abuse as a baby, and I finally got her away from her dad, but that doesn't fix the past. Subconsciously she will probably always deal with that turned off feeling popping up without warning, even though she seems emotionally very healthy now and handles life amazingly well, far better than I ever did at her age with a child.

Anyway, so if there really is a reveal coming concerning the space program, the toughest reveal will probably be that our own kept us slaves, not them. Well, the global elite seem to think they come from the gods and are natural royalty with bloodlines that must be kept track of, but they use all of us like slaves, caught in a monetary trap that we can never escape from. I've often thought for years how the only way to ever fix this mess the world is in would be to reset it, just dump the entire global digital network and free everyone from debt. Think about it, nearly everything digital is about debt.

What if there really was a way to leap past that into the sort of life that we see on Star Trek? What if the whole global structure could be reorganized so that we ALL get fed, get healthcare, get housing, get education, get good jobs, have nice lives, and none of us are in debt? What if part of the global alliance is about reaching that place?

We'd need to do away with royalty owning countries, world bankers holding the poor hostage, etc. How do you do that without a war? Especially if they own all the guns...

What if a war is going on right now? What if all this stuff I'm hearing is true?

One of the most interesting things I heard was that all this crazy rain was a snapback from the HAARP machines being turned off. I'd like to believe that. Who would be crazy enough to literally hold the earth hostage and force weather patterns to change, right? It can be done, I've looked at some of the science, but who in their right mind would make the world worse over it instead of better???

I need to get back on game, I'm afk over there while I work on paragraphs here. I'm currently mining out a layered road system all through and subdivided plots in a town I'm making. The roads will go down all the way to bedrock. Players will be able to run around the town underground that way, and if they want to continue an underground city and open their plots up down there themselves, that will be fun. Last week I crushed it grinding out a million bucks to pay for an ultra rare winged white ghost lion, which is rideable.

Also have a bigger than usual list to execute this week. I want my bedroom back, lol.